Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome to the Uncomplicated Perimenopause Podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:10

I'm Kate Grosvenor, your friendly perimenopause expert and life coach, and I'm Gabriella Kate's daughter, representing all the women who are nowhere near perimenopause but want to understand it better.

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Whether you're just starting your perimenopause journey deep into it. Better, whether you're just starting your perimenopause journey deep into it or you're a loved one trying to support someone who is we've got you covered.

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We'll be answering all of your burning questions, exploring the ups and downs, and sharing expert advice and personal insights.

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So grab a cup of tea, get comfy and let's dive into the wonderful. Get comfy and let's dive into the wonderful, sometimes wild, world of perimenopause together.

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And remember, no matter where you are on your journey, you are not alone.

Speaker 1: 0:55

Welcome to the Uncomplicated Perimenopause. Hello, my darlings, and welcome to episode 22 of the Unplicated perimenopause podcast.

Speaker 2: 1:05

I'm kate grovener, a perimenopause expert and life coach and I'm gabriella grovener, kate's daughter, here to learn with you all we're just having a conversation.

Speaker 1: 1:12

We just looked at ourselves and the camera went. Well, we are just so wearing interesting outfits, say those of you listening, we're both just wearing black round neck sweatshirts, yeah it's not happening.

Speaker 1: 1:21

Is it today? No, I think it's the weather. Yeah, bless you both. Both of my my oldest and my middle girls are just like very premenstrual and just I'm just wanting to run away from them. And this is the funny thing, because, you know, we talk about hormones all the time and we forget I think it's actually quite interesting, this concept I think we need to talk about it more that so many of us who are paramenopausal have hormonal teenagers. Yeah, and it's, it's. I was gonna say it's a joy, but I don't mean it, it's not a joy. It's hard work, though, because I'm I'm very, I'm in a very. I didn't sleep very well last night the joys but I was working late and then couldn't sleep and then I had to get up for school, run for your younger sister and I'm just feeling a bit.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Oh, just be nice to me, speak kindly to me and not to be rude, but you're not in that mood today. You're not in that I'm going to speak nicely to my mother mood. You're in the kind of like don't look at me in that tone of voice type of mood. Yeah, I'm feeling soft and gentle.

Speaker 2: 2:21

I can't humour myself, I know, but you are, it's not a personal thing.

Speaker 1: 2:27

I just be nice to me and you're like let's just not talk. Then you sit over there and just be you, so bless.

Speaker 2: 2:36

I actually don't understand your hormones on your period and why we get well, your oestrogen drops at the second half of your cycle.

Speaker 1: 2:44

What about pre, just before?

Speaker 2: 2:44

you start your period and you we get, so estrogen drops at the second half of your cycle. What about pre?

Speaker 1: 2:45

what about pre pre?

Speaker 2: 2:46

like when you're just before you start your period and you're like a ball of you just you just all over, and this is the thing it's just.

Speaker 1: 2:53

Perimenopause is quite is a little bit like premenstrual tension sometimes. So you and I are so you feel this every day, not every day okay but, but it's just like this. You know, the rage that you get is similar to perimenopause rage, and that's why we're all kind of like could not live like this every day, or something it's not like that every day, but it's like the hormones that you withdraw from you is. How is that? You know, when people talk about my estrus leaving me and I can't balance myself.

Speaker 2: 3:23

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 3:26

That's kind of welcome to our world. So yeah, it's funsies, but I think we ought to do an episode at some point. Somebody asked the question for me about someone takes on whatsapp and I'll pick it up to deal with of perimenopause when you have hormonal teenagers, because it is that that is a juggling act, hormone teenagers and boys as well. I wouldn't know. Three girls, girl, mum, girl, mum Right, my lovely Gabriella, what is the question for day? My lover?

Speaker 2: 3:53

So the question is from Yasmin, but Yasmin.

Speaker 1: 3:56

Okay, depends on which way we're going.

Speaker 2: 3:58

Yeah, she's from the UAE, so I'm guessing Yasmin Marhaba. So Yasmeen has been struggling with mood swings and often feels irritated or tearful without understanding why.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Back on the subject. Yeah, this was quite good, yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:10

I didn't want to spoil it, but she asked how she can recognise and manage these emotional changes and other ways to bring balance to her moods without feeling out of control.

Speaker 1: 4:19

The irony After we just had that opening. Okay, so first of all, yes, when. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is a question that obviously resonates with so many of us because we just obviously I like the fact that you didn't just say well, strangely enough no, I don't want to ruin it.

Speaker 1: 4:37

Okay, she needs her own moment she needs her own moment. Yes, so, um, emotional changes, especially mood swings, can feel incredibly unsettling, especially the fact that they seem to come out of nowhere. So you have your own emotional swings going on and for perimenopausal women, it just seems like you just get like sideswiped by them, and that's one of the most difficult things I think about perimenopause and mood swings is that you don't see them coming. Difficult things I think about perimenopause and mood swings is that you don't see them coming, because, whereas in, for example, you know that in the second half of your cycle, um, you feel more cranky and you feel a little bit kind of like unhinged I don't know.

Speaker 2: 5:15

I feel mine's the beginning of the cycle no for you.

Speaker 1: 5:18

It's just before your period yeah that's the end of your cycle oh my bad your bad. So at the beginning of your cycle is day one of your period right. Oh, every day is a school day, but so it's the same. For in early perimenopause it's the same. So the second half of your cycle you're going to feel more cranky. When you're kind of in the later stages of perimenopause, your periods might be so irregular that you can't, when your hormones are all over the place. It's just the hormones all over the place.

Speaker 1: 5:45

So I think, first and foremost, it's it's again as always, and I say this every single episode and I mean it from the bottom of my heart every single episode you are not alone in this, yasmin, you are not alone in this and it's you've just got to congratulate yourself, I would say, for just it's wonderful that you recognize that you're looking for ways to manage these feelings and restore balance. So celebrate the win that you're looking for ways to sort it out and give yourself a pat on the back for saying I'm actively looking for something, because we have to celebrate the small wins. I did an episode on this, so I have you know at the uncomplicated parent menopause membership that I do. I did a whole video on this yesterday about celebrating small wins. Because it's so important, um, because that's what will get you through perimenopause just celebrating small wins so firstly, recognizing emotions is the um important first step.

Speaker 1: 6:35

Okay, mood swings is the first sign of emotional shifts, hormonal shifts, and it's it's a sign that a lot of perimenopause women are going into perimenopause, you know so a lot of women will say to me am I in perimenopause?

Speaker 2: 6:49

yeah, that's the question.

Speaker 1: 6:50

We must get every day how many times a day? Lots and lots and lots, right yeah, on different social media platforms.

Speaker 1: 6:57

Yeah, on tiktok yeah our facebook group a lot a lot and it's one of the earliest signs of that going into perimenopause. This mood swing and we're not talking about like little ones, we're talking about I feel dead inside, I feel raging, I feel like I don't get out of bed, I feel um, just so anxious. I just I don't want to spend any time with my family. We're not. You know it's. It's it's massive mood swings that can happen or not.

Speaker 1: 7:30

It can be just like I don't know what's going on, but a lot of it is I I don't recognize myself kind of mood swings, and but even without specific hormonal triggers, life's pressures can have a profound effect on our emotions. So what I would say first and foremost is if you're, if you're starting to feel like there's something going on and I don't quite know what it is, start keeping a journal. So start journaling around your emotions. Start trying to.

Speaker 1: 8:02

At the beginning, it's not even finding patterns yeah I want it to be more like a conversation with yourself.

Speaker 2: 8:08

I've seen you recommend that to a few people, so then they can also tell the gp or doctor. This is how often this is yeah, yeah, yeah so it's good.

Speaker 1: 8:18

It's good to start figuring out. So if you, if you do feel like you're going to go and have medical advice, obviously download my free tracker and checklist, if you haven't already. You're going to go and have medical advice? Obviously download my free tracker and checklist. If you haven't already done so, go to wwwmyperimenopausesymptomscom.

Speaker 2: 8:31

Oh, I didn't know it was that. There you go.

Speaker 1: 8:34

Myperimenopausesymptomscom, and you can just download a free tracker and checklist Really good evidence to take to your doctor or your nurse practitioner because they will just be able to look through. It's a tracker, it's a checklist, so you know where you are, they know where you are. It's really good factual evidence for them. It helps them immensely and it helps you give them evidence. That's number one. Number two journaling, because it helps you to get it out of your head and onto paper and it stops taking up so much space in your head, which is really good, because you can go down that kind of self-fulfilling, almost rabbit hole of going around in a circle with it and you really don't want to do that, because you just ruminate on it and it gets bigger than it needs to be.

Speaker 1: 9:20

Get it out of paper. Get it out of your head onto paper and what you'll see is certain patterns emerge during the month and then you'll be able to see where the hormones start to affect what's going on. You'll start to see certain patterns like maybe financial pressures start happening Towards payday, maybe it gets worse. Maybe towards period time it gets worse. Maybe if your kids are having issues it gets worse, and you'll start to see these patterns emerging and then you can take almost just say okay, that's why this is happening, rather than just like what's wrong with me because we have that.

Speaker 1: 9:57

What's wrong with me yeah fear and we start blaming all these kind of like. Something wrong with me. What's that? You know what's? Why am I so pulling the missing blank? Yeah, and so getting onto paper helps you spot problems that you might not otherwise think about.

Speaker 2: 10:14

I think the same with the checklist. I think there's more symptoms where people go. Oh my gosh, that was a symptom that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 10:20

I have that, yeah, rather than just think there's something wrong with you.

Speaker 1: 10:24

Yeah, like I've got some weird and wonderful illness now that doesn't mean if you feel like there's something seriously wrong, don't go and have checked out. Obviously do. This is not a replacement for cardiac. You know big illnesses. If you do feel there's something wrong, please do go and have yourself checked out. I say that as the warning always. So when it comes to managing these emotions, there are a few techniques that can really bring you relief and feel like you're more in control. Now you don't actually have to be in control to have relief. It's the perception of control that will give you the stress relief. What do you mean? So studies tell us that even believing that you have an element of control will make you feel less stressed you don't actually have to have control over things.

Speaker 1: 11:05

You just have to feel like you have a choice, feel like you have some control, feel like you're doing something. So the opposite of of overwhelm is just feeling like you know. When you feel like everything's out of control and you can't do anything about anything, and just feeling like there is an element of choice, element of control will make you feel like, oh, I'm not so stressed, I'm actually doing something. So action is quite often the opposite of anxiety.

Speaker 1: 11:28

Okay, yeah, that's what you've always told us, you know like when you're feeling really anxious, like I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this, just do something yeah yeah, take an action, take a step.

Speaker 2: 11:38

So you said something amazing at the firewalk. I really want to remember it and remind me of it. It's something to do with a decision that you don't take as a wish, or yeah, something like that. What was it? It was so nice two hours I know, but it's so well put of something like yeah, a decision that you don't actually take is just a wish it's just a wish yeah, facts that was so well put of something like a decision that you don't actually take is just a wish. It's just a wish.

Speaker 1: 11:56

Yeah, facts, that was so good, because that's all it is. If you make a decision but you don't take any action, you're just having a. You know, I wish I could do that. Yeah, it's just a thought. It's just a thought, that's not a decision. A decision without action is just, is literally that, it's just a wish, and I've made a decision. I'm going to fill in the blank. Yeah, use weight start yoga. Well, unless you actually do anything about it.

Speaker 2: 12:22

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:23

It's just wishful thinking really isn't it.

Speaker 1: 12:26

We have to back things up with action. So here are a few techniques. Okay. So, if you really want to manage your emotions, you know what I'm going to say Meditate, yeah, do, um, manage your emotions. You know what I'm going to say. It's eight. Yeah, that's a good one mindful breathing and meditation. So just taking five minutes a day to focus on your breathing can make a big difference. There's there's apps like so I'm adhd, as you know, so I can't just meditate because I'm already having at least two conversations in my head.

Speaker 2: 12:54

So your brain can't rest like that.

Speaker 1: 12:55

So my brain can't focus on its own, but I can use guided meditations.

Speaker 2: 13:00

Okay.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So there's apps like Calm or Headspace.

Speaker 2: 13:03

I've heard Calm is quite good. Yeah, yeah, so it depends on which one.

Speaker 1: 13:06

So Headspace is Australian, so it goes up at the end.

Speaker 2: 13:10

I'm not going to do it again, because Christy will be listening.

Speaker 1: 13:17

That's just racist now, but but so, and calm is american. So I like calm because matthew connor and mcconnell. Matthew mcconnell is the voice no one of them, so he tells the sleep story.

Speaker 2: 13:25

Yes, michael buble listened to it. I listened to it, yeah and he goes well hello there mom if you go to sleep listening to that, you will have a good night's sleep really sorry to his wife but like your husband has a nice voice to listen to, he does and and those people tell sleep stories.

Speaker 1: 13:43

Uh, what's his name? From one direction, harry styles. Yeah, yeah, okay, actually decent, weirdly not. He's not a bit of me. I mean, I'm more matthew mcconaughey than harry styles, but you know each respect to harry yeah, we each the way. I mean, bless him. I was so sad about Liam Payne. I'm not a. I'm not a one direction no same, but that just yeah, anywho so. So guided meditations can help you stay grounded, bring a sense of calm. So when your emotions are really high, what's the opposite of high is not low grounded.

Speaker 1: 14:15

So if you're flapping right in the wind, you need to stay grounded. Apps like calm and headspace are really good, so I don't. Sometimes they do free trials. I recommend a free trial because it's not for everyone and just a few minutes focusing on your breathing. If you can't do, um, guided meditations, just cocoa breaths. If you go to my youtube channel, there's cocoa breaths, so it's Kate Grimley, life Coach. On YouTube. There's a video. It's usually on the front page because it's sorry. There's a noise in the studio that's just really ah. And if there's just, it's just a really good video to watch about. For Coco Breaths, um, for just, I get so distracted. Yeah, I can't, I just can't.

Speaker 2: 14:53

I'm just thinking about your brain, like your ADHD, like, no, my your adhd.

Speaker 1: 14:57

Like what's going on? There's a noise in the studio and it's just annoying me anyway. So that's number one. Number two nourishing your body actually is a really, really, really good way to deal with mood swings. We don't appreciate enough how much our diet can impact our moods. We try. I don't know why we do this, and I don't know about you, but I am a absolute bugger for this one right, I sometimes think that I can get away with it away with what not eating the right food, like if I sneak the food it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 15:31

I don't listen. I don't know why I think this. I think if I just eat toast it won't affect me, or something I don't know. So I know pretty much. I'm not gonna say I know everything there is to know about nutrition, but I know a lot about nutrition. I know a lot about perimenopause nutrition. I know a lot about gut health. I know a lot about hormone health. I know a lot about how food impacts hormones. I know a lot and yet sometimes I try and cheat. Why do I do this?

Speaker 2: 15:57

well, there's little rules like miranda hart stands by. If you eat crap in the car, don't count, you're driving yeah I don't. I I'm not the best when it comes to. I'll sneak food whenever I can, and crappy food, but I think it's because I'm young. Yeah, that's my mentality, which is but that's okay.

Speaker 1: 16:15

But for us we cannot. So a lot of us in perimenopause are insulin resistant. We've worn our insulin. Insulin is literally worn out.

Speaker 1: 16:24

So when we, when we eat foods that our body, our body for example, white carbs, high, high sugar foods our body doesn't put my teeth back in my head, that thing just really. But what happens is that the if you have a food that's high in fiber, high in protein, our body digests it so slowly and the impact every time you eat something, basically your insulin levels, your sugar levels are spiked. Okay, now, if it's high in fiber, the the amount, the way that your body works is the sugar levels. It's a really slow release and your body digests it's high in fiber, the the amount, the way that your body works is the sugar levels. It's a really slow release and your body digests it's really really slowly. So, although your blood sugar is spiked, it doesn't spike quickly and it's really really slow and it digests slowly over time. So it doesn't give you that sugar high in that sugar crash. If you eat things like bread, things that are high in sugar, processed food, it just absolutely foobars you.

Speaker 2: 17:21

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:21

Okay and then. So you have the sugar high and then you have the sugar crash. We can't do it in perimenopause anymore, we just can't do it. And I still try and cheat occasionally, and I don't know why I do it, because I know the rules Do you not need.

Speaker 2: 17:35

I don't know why. I do it because I know the rules Do you not need, though, your body just at that.

Speaker 1: 17:39

Treat that, yes, but at the right time. So on a Saturday night, when I'm so, I know that if I have a treat on a Saturday evening, we're sitting in front of the telly, we're watching a movie right, we've got the fire on. I've got Sunday morning off. Does it matter if my blood sugar crashes? No, not really. It morning off. Does it matter if my blood sugar crashes? No, not really it does. On a tuesday morning, though, when I've got that many things to do that I can't afford the sugar crash. And this is the point.

Speaker 1: 18:06

Your diet will impact your moods so significantly. You can't cheat anymore. You just can't. So. For instance, foods rich in omega-3s salmon walnuts very rich in omega-3s, salmon walnuts very rich in omega-3s. They are not only good for your brain health, but they're also good for your mood swings. Didn't know that, did you? No, balancing blood sugars out with whole grains, proteins, avoiding refined sugars, also help to prevent highs and lows. So if your blood sugar's stable, it massively impacts your mood swings as well. But aren't there like happy foods as well? But aren't there like happy foods as well? Yes, there are. So bananas, pasta and these things yeah, technically, but in perimenopause, a lot of those foods are also.

Speaker 1: 18:46

They also spike your blood sugar, which is more problematic than the happy foods garlic is also a happy food. Eat as much garlic as you want in paramenopause, and I've got pasta yeah, but it's just not worth it. Yeah, we can't get away with it. If our insulin is worn out, if we're insulin resistant, we're just, it's just not worth it anymore, genuinely. I mean cacao. On the other hand, watch this space dot dot dot.

Speaker 1: 19:10

It's a thing of absolute beauty, yeah, but yeah you know it is what it is, yeah, but it's it genuinely the payoff? So it used to be right back in the day. So I was born early 70s, as you know, and I grew up in the era of jane fonder exercise videos and the pump up. Yeah, that was even later that was actually in my teenage years, right, and it was always like um a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, girls no, that was actually an expression and we were.

Speaker 1: 19:40

I heard that in friends yeah, and we were all taught that you know you didn't get fat and it wasn't worth it and all this kind of stuff. Right, okay, that's one way of looking at it. But this we're not even talking about weight here. We're not talking about calories. Here we are talking about how food will make you feel yeah, your moods, your energy. So the payoff isn't we're not. We're not talking about your, your dress size. We are talking about your mood, how you feel in yourself your relationship with your own soul.

Speaker 1: 20:14

Yeah, yeah, do you know it dramatically makes a difference. Ain't worth it at all. Okay, the next one movement and exercise. Okay, physical activity 10 minute walk. Change your perspective on life. You know this. You do mental health thoughts every day completely necessary, yeah it releases endorphins.

Speaker 2: 20:34

That's your feel good chemical and it's just, you can breathe on your own breathe, your head clears yeah and it I'm looking forward to mine actually for today yeah, right, do you want to go now?

Speaker 1: 20:46

finish the podcast off? You go, but it's whether it's yoga dancing, and the thing is, if you're in a really, really bad mood, why wouldn't you go for a 10 minute walk on a lunch break, why not? It could be yoga dancing, walking, anything that you enjoy that involves movement is a really good idea and it positively changes your mood yeah, and it doesn't have to be gym oh god.

Speaker 1: 21:07

No, yeah, you don't have to get sweaty, it's just movement, because it will change your mood. It's that simple. I mean, I've said it before and I'll say it again, but it, but it changes your mood. Why wouldn't you?

Speaker 2: 21:18

yeah okay.

Speaker 1: 21:19

Last one connect with other humans. It sounds simple, but being around other women who are going through the same journey just friends, support groups. This is why and I'm a shameless plug here and I'm I'm really okay with that we have um a menopause, a perimenopause membership, called the uncomplicated guide to perimenopause, and in there we have three groups, obviously, but in the perimenopause, and in there we have three group as well, obviously, but in the perimenopause membership they're, they're, they.

Speaker 2: 21:52

They love and support yeah, they are close, they are great group and it's a huge help.

Speaker 1: 21:57

So, whether it's a support group like that, it's in the membership or just sharing your experiences, but feeling understood, feeling supported, feeling having this common experience makes things so much less overwhelming. Yeah, and that really matters, because feeling like you're not interested, feeling like you're being gaslit, feeling like somebody is just not validating you, feeling like you know you are genuinely on your own, is really miserable yeah, yeah or competing with you and saying well, you know, that's just perimenopause, I've got this, it's like you.

Speaker 1: 22:34

But I mean, a man can never know what this is like.

Speaker 1: 22:37

Yeah, not even a medical professional, no so no, the tiredness is is another level, I think, yes, I mean, just remember that mood swings they're they're not a reflection of your strength or resilience. It doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you less than. It's part of the journey that we're all on. And when you start to feel these emotions rising, just try to acknowledge them without judging yourself. Imagine that they're like waves and that they're going to pass again, and then you're going to learn to ride each one a little bit more smoothly. And you're doing brilliantly.

Speaker 1: 23:11

Honestly, the fact that you've reached out is really good, and just by being curious about this process and by seeking ways to care for yourself, that's really great. I promise you and I'm sending you so much encouragement, darling, on your journey, you're absolutely not alone. I promise you, we're here cheering for you. Uh, if you want, if anybody wants to have information about the paramenopause membership, just let us know, because we're here cheering you all on each step of the way, aren't we darling? All right, my lovers, if you have any questions, if you'd like to submit a question to us, you can use the whatsapp details below, or you can ask us in our perimenopause group on facebook, which is a post goes out every friday yes, perimenopause with kate rovner.

Speaker 1: 23:58

If you want to know about the perimenopause membership, you can just send us um whatsapp or you can email me, kate, at kate rovnercom. Take care, my darlings, and I will see you next week. Bye, thanks for joining us today on the uncomplicated perimenopause podcast. We hope you found this episode helpful and inspiring.

Speaker 2: 24:29

Don't forget. If you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover, you can reach out through our perimenopause group or on WhatsApp.

Speaker 1: 24:36

For more information on my coaching, perimenopause supplements, books or upcoming events, please visit wwwkategrovernercom.

Speaker 2: 24:45

And if you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate and review our podcast. It really helps us reach more listeners, just like you.

Speaker 1: 24:53

Until next time. Remember, perimenopause doesn't have to be complicated. We're here to help you every step of the way.

Speaker 2: 25:00

Stay uncomplicated Bye.