Welcome to the Uncomplicated Perimenopause Podcast. I'm Kate Grosvenor, your friendly perimenopause expert and life coach.

And I'm Gabriella Kate's daughter, representing all the women who are nowhere near perimenopause but want to understand it better.

Whether you're just starting your perimenopause journey deep into it. Better, whether you're just starting your perimenopause journey deep into it or you're a loved one trying to support someone who is we've got you covered.

We'll be answering all of your burning questions, exploring the ups and downs, and sharing expert advice and personal insights.

So grab a cup of tea, get comfy and let's dive into the wonderful, sometimes wild, world of perimenopause together.

And remember, no matter where you are on your journey, you are not alone.

Welcome to the Uncomplicated Perimenopause. Hello, my darlings, and welcome to episode 7 of the Uncomplicated Perimenopause podcast. I'm Kate Grosvenor. I'micated Perimenopause Podcast. I'm Kate Grosvenor. I'm a perimenopause expert and life coach.

And I'm Gabriella Grosvenor, Kate's daughter, here to learn with you all.

So, as always, my lovelies, I have no clue what today's episode is going to be about, because you, the listeners, get to send in your questions and Gabby gets to surprise me with the questions. So, gabriella, what are we talking about today, my darling?

This question's from Monica. Hello, monica. Monica has watched your TikToks and you've mentioned some weird symptoms. Oh yes, she's wondering out of curiosity what are the weirdest symptoms you've ever heard of?

Oh, fanzies, shits and giggles today. What are the weirdest ones ever? I think so, yeah. How many would you like Well symptoms you've ever heard of? Oh, fanzies, shits and giggles today. What are the weirdest ones ever? I think so, yeah. How many would you like?

Well, you've written 117 in your symptoms checklist, so what's the weirder ones from there? What's the weirdest ones?

Oh, this is going to be fun, Right? I'm going to enjoy this one.

I did like that question when she sent it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fun.

Thanks, monica. Right, weird, weird, weird symptoms, the weirdest ones. So some weird ones are like shits and giggles, funny, okay, like funsies, and some are weird, quite scary, so I'm going to mix them up. Okay, I'll start with a fun one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So weird symptom number one phantom smells.

What's phantom smells?

Here to explain it. Phantom smells are when I'm the only one that can smell things in the house. I did a TikTok on this literally a couple of weeks ago. I can go around going. Can anyone smell that? Can anyone smell that? And it can be things like toasted marshmallows, or the other day I swear I could smell lemon. No one else could smell it and I was going around going.

I was going to say not to gaslight you, but are these smells real or are you just smelling them?

No, no, no, You're not gaslighting me. That's the phantom smells so I can smell things that no one else can smell.

But they are real.

But they're real to me, okay. They're not real to anybody else? Okay, they're a figment of my imagination, my imagination. So, for example, I had one client that used to smell gasoline all the time, bless her heart. I had one client that panicked in like late afternoon once saying I can smell burnt toast. Am I having a stroke? Because that's a symptom of having a stroke. And I said can you smell anything else? And she said yes, I can also smell something like chocolate, something I said then.

Probably not symptom of thing, it's probably the phantom. So one second she messaged you yes, not, not the people in the house or the people, medical professionals and I might be having a heart attack, because people message me first because they're like is this because I'm the go-to expert?

yeah, so they, they go. Is this a symptom? Because she is my life coaching client. So, to put this into perspective, she's a one-to-one vip life coaching client, so they have access to me. So she thought she would just double check before she bothered the medical professionals and called an ambulance. Yeah, okay, so that was fine, so completely normal, very weird, but it is quite entertaining that one. Yeah, because you can smell weird stuff and sometimes I'm like, okay, am I actually? I have to kind of second guess myself, as in, what is the likelihood that this is actually a smell that could be in our house? Yeah, to put this into perspective, we have six cats, don't ask. On the whole, we have lovely, lovely, lovely cats, don't we really lovely cats? And we have three horses, so some of the smells are slightly country smells that you would kind of expect.

And three children as well three children and lots of garden smells. So we have big, big gardens, so those kind of smells very predictable. Yeah, lots of cooking goes, happens in our house. We cook a lot of food, lots of people always cooking different foods, so those kind of smells. But then there's some others you think could this possibly be a smell. That would be happening in our house. Very few boys in our house yeah yeah, my partner that.

So if it's a boy type of a smell, it's not likely to be emanating from the house no so. So if you're smelling things and no one else can smell it, you're not going mad and they're not trying to gaslight you.

They're not trying to mean it feels like your body's trying to gaslight yourself in that.

Yeah, that's very normal. So phantom smells. It's just a bit of fun, that one's a bit of banter. It's harmless just laugh it off what isn't harmless and it's not a nice one is the next one oh, so we're doing one of each we're good. Well, I'll try and like, mix it a little bit. You're so crazy, right, dj Kate? No, no, so one that's not fun is the next one.

Swallowing Difficulties in Perimenopause

And that's when you forget how to swallow yes, you made a tiktok on that one, yeah it kind of did like things stupid.

I think in the first week it did something like 700,000 views yeah and this is because nobody talks about it, because nobody made the connection.

But then it was one of those things where I've made the connection for myself. And then I talked to a few women in my group about it, in the perimenopause group, and I said this is something I've noticed. Have you noticed it as well? And they went oh my God, yes, I thought it was just me. And then I asked my wider audience and then I was like, was like listen, a load of women are thinking about this. I think I've made the connection. And then it went out and I was the only one, as far as I know, that has made the connection in perimenopause yeah, but it's very, very, very scary so

if this has happened to you, please don't be scared, but it is a really weird one. So this is when you forget to swallow, or you you think you've forgotten how to swallow and you panic. Yeah, there's different aspects to it kind of globus, because what happens is that you get a lump in your throat. That's not actually a lump, it's kind of psychosomatic. So you feel like you've got a lump in your throat or you feel like you've forgotten how to swallow. When we're in perimenopause and our oestrogen obviously, as we talk about in every single episode, our oestrogen fluctuates up and down as we go through perimenopause. What can happen is we can get several things can happen in our mouth at once.

We dramatically reduce the saliva in our mouth during perimenopause which can lead to dry mouth, which can lead to burning mouth, which is incredibly uncomfortable, but it can can lead to burning mouth, which is incredibly uncomfortable, but it can also lead to change in the structure of our mouth. Okay, musicians call this our armature, but for everybody else it's just like the muscle structure of your mouth. You can also have orthodontic kind of problems, so your jaw can move around. You can get bleeding gums, you can get teethache, you can get jaw ache. All those kind of things can happen in perimenopause as well. So you you also. You get reduced saliva. You can have changes in the structure of your mouth, you can get changes in the muscles in your mouth and you can get this kind of lump in your throat. Plus you can kind of get swollen type of glands and all of these kind of mix together and what happens is you can just suddenly kind of sit up and forget how to swallow your own saliva is there anything you can do to prevent or to help this?

is it staying more hydrated?

yeah, so, absolutely so, being hydrated really helps, because you're going to make sure you've got that natural saliva. Yeah, remembering that you know how to swallow and I know that sounds. Yeah, cheers, kate. That's why you get paid the big bucks. But just reminding yourself it's okay. So, just remembering that I've had this conversation with you. Yeah, literally okay, tell me that. So, saying to yourself like, since I put two and two together, I've not panicked, because me too. Yeah, like I used to panic, like genuinely, I used to panic as well. Yeah, because I was like, oh my God. And then you remember how to swallow and you feel okay, but when you can't swallow, you think you're going to suffocate. Do?

you get that with food as well. Swallowing food, yeah, so some women.

So since I've talked about this, I mean we had thousands of comments, yeah, that tiktok and a lot of women have said I've struggled to take tablets, I've struggled to swallow my food, I've struggled to drink water and then the whole kind of gasping for air gasping, and so it's really scary but it's a really weird symptom and, as I said, I, I think, as far as I'm aware, I've the only one, I'm the only woman that's put, or the only perimenopause expert that I know of that's put, two and two together on that one, and it was simple.

I'm going to say field research in that. I. I found that I was struggling. I was panicking, so I asked other people yeah, and they asked other people and then we, we kind of did the research on it and asked the wider question. So yes, I feel like a lot of the perimenopause symptoms are field research so many of them are, and it's because I'm surrounded by perimenopause of women all day, every day.

Dryness and Itching in Perimenopause

Yeah, so not in your home, no, but yeah, so that's a really scary one. Other weird ones formication. What formication people say? Every time I say formication, people go because fornication means there's no word for sex. So every time I say fornication, people go oh, and I go no, no for mecation. What does that mean, kate? It means the sensation of ants crawling over your skin, gabby.

What.

Spiders, ants. It's the feeling, it's the feeling of it. It's not the actual thing.

That's another gaslighting one.

Yes, what? But it's a sensation of it happening.

it's not the actual thing no, it doesn't make it better. You're still like going around, going stop it get off.

It's just the feeling of your skin crawling. That's horrible. That's not a funny one oh okay, sorry.

I said I don't have a fear of ants or spiders in general, though, it's, it's a very oh, it's just like, it's like it's just like your skin.

It's a feeling of your skin crawling like this. It's like it's just like your skin. It's a feeling of your skin crawling, Like it's like a hallucinogenic feeling of your skin crawling.

Don't like that one.

Okay, let's move along. Hello, I've never had look into my eyes, look into my eyes. I'll be back in the room. Let's pretend I never said that. One Other weird symptoms I think itchy ears is weird, and I'll tell you why itchy ears is weird. First of all, it's one that so many women have. But I think the weird thing about itchy ears is that it gaslights you because it can just be one. What is this gaslighting?

No, no no no, yeah, no, listen to this one, because it can just be one, but they can switch, switch and this is why I find it like weird. So itchy ears is really common. Yeah, like I go, 70 80 percent of perimenopausal women have itchy ears right and you want to give it a good. It's like you know when you watch dogs or cats and they're going like that's what you want to do, like if it was was socially, I promise you, if it was socially acceptable to be in a meeting and get your leg and kind of I mean, I mean, if you could do that, that'd actually be kind of cool.

Anyway, I'd be impressed at a meeting seeing that you don't know a lot and don't go there, but you don't know a lot of money. If you could get your back leg, anyway, you'd have a. Okay, you'd be really bending. Life would be fun, open up a whole new meaning of yoga, literally. But you'd love to just like scratch it here when it, when it itches, and then temptation is to get a q-tip or like a cotton wool bud and like, really like, oh, that would be so satisfying, but don't do it because you'll make it worse. What happens in perimenopause is oh, this is going to sound really a little bit grim. So anything that's moist like ears, vagina, eyes, underarm, anything that's moist, damp, kind of membraney mouth, anything that has liquid lubrication naturally in perimenopause will dry out okay, because I was just thinking and that's bad, yeah, it is like the moistness, and now you've said it goes away, I'm like ah do you know to me, you don't want it to dry out, because it's lubricated for a reason yeah like your eyes need.

yeah, lubrication your and other things. I don't want to have a conversation with my trip out, I don't mind. I feel like we're past this now. Well, true.

After these episodes and what we've talked about, I think we're on a level, you and I now. Yeah, true, I mean, I've known you basically my whole life.

Well, no, actually I know You're like a mother. To me it's almost as if I know weird.

so everything that's moist damp has, lubrication dries out, okay, so anything membraning and it's because your estrogen levels drop and your estrogen is responsible for producing this lubrication. You have estrogen receptor cells all over your body, so your ears. They have a membrane in them and that is produced by estrogen. So you get this kind of flakiness, this dryness, this itchiness from the lack of estrogen. So you want to fiddle with it, and the more you fiddle with it, the worse it's going to get. So, really, like, can you use a q-tip for it? I really, really wouldn't. Yeah, because the thing is, if you, if you're going to start fiddling with it, what you're going to do is irritate it. Yeah, so you're going to make it worse because you're taking off any natural lubricant that it actually has and therefore, as you can, imagine it's

Perimenopause Symptoms and Tips

going to get worse. The best thing actually is to put a little bit of olive oil on a cotton pad, not a cotton bud, okay, and tiny, tiny little amount. Olive oil is a very, very natural ingredient. That's a good tip. It's one of the healthiest things for your body. You know. You don't have to go to waitrose and buy their very expensive ones. But the more natural, the better. Tiny little bit of olive oil, like a tiny tiny bit, and just swab it around your just to give it that little bit of natural, as much as you can do, and then leave it alone.

Okay.

If you possibly can and I'm not talking about don't glug it in there, yeah, but a small amount is fine, so, yeah, so as little as you can mess with it, the better. But the reason why I find it entertaining is because it doesn't have to be both ears. It can be one ear and then the ear that's affected can switch, so you'll feel like you're like drowning in olive oil in both ears. Oh, just losing the plot in general yeah, so that just is you know, bants.

I don't know, this is very, very random, but there's a friend's reference that just came to mind that I don't know you know, when Chandler said to Joey, you're supposed to remove the q-tip when you feel resistance, that's just all I thought about. I feel like I don't know the whole time. You said q-tip and putting in, and I'm like you're supposed to remove the q-tip when you feel resistant well, the doctors will always tell you shouldn't put anything in your ear.

That's, that's smaller than your elbow, can't foot. Sorry, that's smaller than your elbow. That's what doctors will always say to you. Because, exactly, you can't put your elbow in your ear, because you don't want you to put anything in your ears, because people have actually perforated their eardrums with q-tips and you don't want to do that just remove it when you feel resistance um other weird and wonderful symptoms.

I think the boob thing as well is a bit weird. You can have one boob that gets really, really sore and the other one becomes normal as well. I just think odd things in general. So you can have one boob that gets bigger than the other, so you can end up with uneven boobs.

Okay.

So I just find the unevenness of perimenopause symptoms to be a little bit odd. And, by the way, while we're talking about this, just a reminder if you want your copy of the perimenopause symptoms, feel free. It's always in the in the notes of here, so you can absolutely feel free to download your copy of it is fine. There's one I don't particularly like, but I want to talk about it because it is a weird one in that you may have never had anxiety before and you may suddenly get very strange anxiety in perimenopause, in that it can be specific to certain situations. So, for example, I never had issues driving at night and when I got to perimenopause I suddenly started going.

I don't want to drive at night. Okay, do you know? Like just no, I don't. It makes me really uncomfortable. Other women that I know they, for example, would be in social situations. They would be absolutely fine before perimenopause and suddenly they feel like their confidence is stripped right going into perimenopause so they wouldn't want to go to certain social situations big crowds of the people that they didn't know.

I've seen that with like weddings and parties, people are starting to avoid a little bit.

Yeah, so they might just be like nope, right Another weird one. We can't have a weird symptoms, I think, without talking about brain fog.

Yeah.

So I do this on a regular basis and you all try and finish sentences for me. You all do it, scott included, you all included. I'll be trying to finish a sentence and I've lost the word and you all try and guess the word. For me it's the most frustrating, I'm not gonna lie, the most frustrating thing on the planet. I'm trying to say something and you all start trying to play charades, charades with me and you're all trying to guess it and it makes it worse.

So I'll be walking through and I'll say has anybody seen my? And you're like glasses, keys, fridge dog, cat, handbag, and I'm like telephone, and there's words that you'll you know absolutely and you just can't figure out what it is. So you'll be like has what do you call the, the big thing of grass outside there's one grass, lots of grass lawn, for example, and you, you know that that it's grass and you know that many grass. But you can describe it, you can describe it, but you can't figure out what the collective of lots of grass is like. The other day I was trying to explain to somebody what a parking garage is okay, so the place where you park lots of cars, yeah, but I couldn't remember what that concept was. Just a car park? Yeah, but it wasn't a car park because it wasn't flat. So I'm like it's not the one that's flat that you drive into.

It's the one where there's lots of levels. I didn't know there was a difference. Well, try and explain it to somebody when you've forgotten the word for garage yeah. And so that one is really weird as well, you know when you really just like brain fog is fairly normal as well yeah, but it's.

If you looked at the scan of a woman's brain during perimenopause, it saddens me. Okay, I'm not as somebody who's like a neuroscience geek. I didn't say the other word. You're pleased to know we have this thing because Gabby's bilingual and there's a word in Arabic that is a very rude word and it's a word that I use a lot in English, but every time I say it she gets really upset with me. I won't say it in Arabic, but it's English, it's really normal.

But you go around saying I'm a this and I'm like no, you're not an f word, you're not stop saying that.

So if you look at the brain scan of somebody in perimenopause versus how their brain looked before perimenopause, it actually saddens me because the activity in the brain is so much less okay much less of our brain is lit up so you can see the less, how much less of the brain is being active and it shows you how much we're swimming through treacle in our brains trying to find words, trying to. It's literally like our brain is just going help, help, and it's so frustrating. Yeah, like, of course there are things that we do. There are supplements. Of course there are things that we do. There are supplements we can use. There are things that we can train our brains. We have to stay active. You know, don't give in is the solution. Don't surrender, don't back away from trying to use your brain, trying to learn new things. It's just really hard work and massively frustrating.

I wonder if Alzheimer's then is more common in women um, I don't know the answer to that question yeah, because if your brain is already struggling to find words and and remember certain things, I'd be don't know, that's scary. I'm sorry, I just put that connection so that might be a thing. Yeah, another weird thing in perimenopause actually. Now it's going to sound like doom and gloom. I'm sorry, I just put that connection so that it might be a thing.

Yeah, another weird thing in perimenopause actually now it's going to sound like doom and gloom is the crying spells. So you can have women that weren't particularly emotional before perimenopause that in perimenopause will just suddenly burst into tears, and it's just because their emotions just go whoosh. And again it's that hormone fluctuation, plus lack of sleep, plus the hormonal roller coaster, and then might be the anxiety on top and you're, if you've still got periods as well. Yeah, and all those kind of out of body kind of alien experience yeah and just the overwhelm and all of those things mixed together.

Baby feeling a little bit dead inside.

I've got a weird question for you then. You've had babies. I've had three, me being one of them, you being the eldest of the three. Yes, when you're pregnant, your hormones I mean, I've never been, but I can imagine so you're in the perimenopause and you've been pregnant. Which is worse hormonally, or which do you feel more emotional with, and stuff?

oh, I again denying all knowledge. And if any either of my ex-husbands ever watch this podcast, I will. I will gaslight them back and say it wasn't true. I was worse in pregnancy. I had had horrible, horrible, horrible pregnancies.

I had pre-eclampsia three times Quite honestly, a bit of a mess. I struggled with pregnancy. I think I was very distressed in pregnancy. I wasn't in a very good place in my life, which didn't help. I'm a much calmer human now, so I don't think that you think. If you think about where I was in my life at that point, which you know about so I wasn't in a very good place in my life. I was sitting with all my mum and her you know her alcohol problems and all those things, plus where I was in my life, and then add to that the pregnancy hormones and the stress of the pre-implementation and being 30 years younger, it's not really the best field research, then with you no, I don't think I'm the best.

I mean, feel free if you, I'm curious, feel free to let us know what you think, but I don't think I was in a particularly good place personally, so I'm probably not the ideal candidate, but yeah, so let us know, let me know.

I'm curious, curious.

Let her know which one but yeah, I think the crying spells is a weird one because it captures. I'm a very emotional human, like I'm the one that cries at britain's got talent yeah, you've passed that on to me now. Yeah so I cry like at toilet paper adverts. When the dog's so cute and it gives you a dog, it's like, oh my god, it's so weird like I cry at the Christmas adverts that tissue advert you used to bawl all the time.

Listen like I'm like tearing up, thinking about it. Right, I am the type of person that will cry if it's a sad advert, the Christmas adverts like chocolate box adverts, like I am the target market because I am emotional, it's lovely though you feel, everything I feel but I'm an empath, that's what.

I do you know I'm a life coach. I I'm there with you on the journey. I'm in the complete, the right career. So I am there with you on your journey. I'm cheering for you on my feeling, the feels. So perimenopause is just an extension of that for me. So I'm there with you on your journey. I'm cheering for you on my feeling, the feels. So perimenopause is just an extension of that for me. So I'm not the target audience. But for women that are not perhaps being that much in touch with emotions or just not an emotion you know everyone's different, right, not that emotional Perimenopause can literally hit them like a tidal wave because suddenly they become these emotional creatures and it feels very alien to them. Them like a tidal wave because suddenly they become these emotional, emotional creatures and it feels very alien to them. So I think sudden crying spells can be a bit of a weird one yeah, yeah, that was a good one actually to end with, yeah so, my darlings, I hope that helps.

Thank you very much for your question and, as always, if you'd like to ask us any questions, feel free to check out the what's app number, whatsapp a question, or you can go to our perimenopause group on facebook, which is perimenopause with kate grovner. Every week, there is a thread where you can ask your questions, and every week, gabriella will choose a question and then hide it from me and not tell me. No matter how much I bribe her with chocolate or salt and vinegar crisps, she will never, ever, ever, tell me the question until we're live on air, because that's her finally getting revenge. Some people just can't be bought. Yeah, I will find the answer, though, at some point, but until that time, you can surprise me with your questions. All right, my darlings, have a beautiful week and we will talk to you next week. Take care for now. Bye, have a beautiful week and we will talk to you next week. Take care for now, bye. Thanks for joining us today on the uncomplicated perimenopause podcast. We hope you found this episode helpful and inspiring, don't?

forget. If you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover, you can reach out through our perimenopause group or on whatsapp for more information on my coaching, perimenopause supplements, books or upcoming events, please visit wwwkatebrovnercom and if you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate and review our podcast. It really helps us reach more listeners, just like you, until next time.

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Stay uncomplicated, thank you.