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Welcome to the Uncomplicated Paramenopause Podcast. I'm Kate Grosley, your friendly peramenopause expert and life coach.

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And I'm Gabriella, Kate's daughter, representing all the women who are nowhere near paramenopause but want to understand it better.

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Whether you're just starting your peramenopause journey, deep into it, or you're a loved one trying to support someone who is. We've got you covered.

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We'll be answering all of your burning questions, exploring the ups and downs, and sharing expert advice and personal insights.

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So grab a cup of tea, get comfy, and let's dive into the wonderful, sometimes wild, world of perimenopause together.

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And remember, no matter where you are on your journey, you are not alone.

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Welcome to the uncomplicated perimenopause. Hello, my darlings, and welcome to episode six, I think then, season three of the Uncomplicated Perimenopause podcast. I'm Kate Grosvenor, a Perimenopause expert and life coach. And I'm Gabriella Grosner, Kate's daughter. It's alone with you all. It's a very, very special episode today. First and foremost, because this episode is sponsored by our good friends at Lilette, who are helping us to feel confident every chapter of our lives, which we love you for. So special shout out to the beautiful, beautiful humans at Lilettes. Woohoo! And also because this is the nearest episode to World Menopause Awareness Day. So if you are in perimenopause or in menopause, we are sending you so much love today. Because this is a very, very special episode. And because this episode is sponsored by the gorgeous humans at Lilettes, we are talking all about periods. Fun one. Funsies. Listen, periods for most women start around what age 12, 13.

SPEAKER_01: 2:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 2:09

And 11. You were yeah, you were. I was 12. I saw some holiday. That was sucky. Yeah. I was like, yeah, horrid. And um and for many women they go on up until 50, 51, 52, they can go on. So you're talking 40 years of your life. That's a huge, huge, huge, huge number. And when we look at even the statistics around perimenopause, like a menopause, so in in the UK right now, there's around 13 million women that are either in perimenopause or menopause. That's a that's a third of the population of fem female population in the UK, right? Are either in perimenopause or menopause. That's a huge number. And we'll get there. They're not in paramenopause or menopause now. Well, yeah, I mean, statistically, 51% of the population are gonna go through it that were assigned female at birth are going to go through paramenopause or menopause. Um so that's gigantic. So obviously Liletz Liletz contacted me and said, Hey, hi girl, let's talk about periods. And it's a really, really important conversation because periods are one of the main things that changes when you get into perimenopause. That's the first that's the that's the sign of menopause. Well, it's one of the first things that people say, is that the th is that the thing that I can expect to change first? Is that is that the most significant thing that is going to change when I get to perimenopause? Yeah. Because that's the thing that everything they think everyone thinks is gonna change. And the answer is maybe. So if I were to say to you, pretend you know nothing, pretend just me and Gabby. Yes, you Gabby, not knowing what you know and not having been around me for the last few years. If I was to say to you, as a complete beginner, you're going towards a paramenopause, what would you expect your periods to do?

SPEAKER_01: 4:11

Stop.

SPEAKER_00: 4:11

Yes, or get heavier like I would that's what I would use.

SPEAKER_01: 4:18

A more irregular.

SPEAKER_00: 4:19

Yeah. So most women would think, okay, if I'm going to go towards menopause, my periods are either gonna stop or they're gonna get lighter, they're gonna get further apart. That's what most people think. Yeah. So women get blocked because sometimes they will get heavier. So usually the give the giveaway is that something's happening.

SPEAKER_01: 4:41

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:42

So that giveaway could be, and your periods get heavier, your periods get lighter, your periods get closer together, your periods get further apart, your periods stop altogether, your periods are um suddenly like almost gone and then come back with a vengeance. Yeah, that one's a common really painful. So what's up with that? Is the question. And what's up with that is our good friends oestrogen and progesterone.

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You have the hormone, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 5:14

So basically, oestrogen, as we know, is the kind of grower, it's the it's the fertilizer, as I call it, in in your female reproduction system. So that's the one that's gonna kind of release the egg, and that's the one that's that's kind of responsible as the fertilizer. And progesterone is the mower. Progesterone's the one that kind of kind of releases the endometrium, the kind of uterine lining. So when you're going through perimenopause, your uterine is gonna fluctuate massively. And then if everything was in balance, what would happen was would be that your progesterone comes along and it f it makes everything really fertile, and then your progesterone comes along and everything's in balance, so releases the egg, and then progesterone, you know, the egg isn't fertilized, so progesterone comes along and sheds the you know the uterine lining, and everything's in balance, and it happens on a lovely 28-day cycle and it's regular as clockwork. And then sometimes what happens because your estrogen is fluctuating all over the place and your progesterone is declining, the balance between eastern, you could be really, really eastern dominant at one point because your progesterone might be really, really low and your estrone might be really high. And so you don't have very much progesterone to kind of clear things out, if you like. And then suddenly your oest is quite low and your progesterone's kind of caught up, and it kind of rushes everything out of your system. And so you suddenly get all of this progesterone kind of pushing everything out almost at one time, and so you get this huge period, heavy period.

SPEAKER_01: 6:42

Does it hurt more?

SPEAKER_00: 6:43

Yes. So you're gonna get like this, this kind of like heavy period, and other times you might be oaster and dominant and get really kind of PMSy, so really crampy and moody and headache because you you're lacking in progesterone, so you're not getting that kind of soporific effect because progesterone's the one that that kind of makes you feel more relaxed, it helps to relax your muscles as well, it helps to make everything kind of really, really nice down there.

SPEAKER_01: 7:08

I didn't know how important progesterone was until we started this podcast, genuinely.

SPEAKER_00: 7:12

Yeah, right. So much awareness for just progesterone. Progesteron's the unsung hero, babe. Progesterone's like our mate. Progesteron's like the steady eddy of the of the of the sex hormone world. The thing is that you could just be, you know, completely out of sync and get these like massively heavy periods. And that's one of the things that that I was talking to that I've been raising awareness with Lilette about because they've bought out a range of sanitary products that are specifically aimed at women that have very, very heavy periods, and in particular, women that are going through perimenopause and women like yourself. So they don't, they don't, they support the menopause charity and they support the endometriosis charity. Now we've talked about endometriosis and you bless your heart before, but they support the endometriosis charity and um and the menopause charity. So I've given you, I've handed over to you some of their sanitary tiles to for you to have a look at. And I'm I've got with me the tampons and the panty liners. So I want your I want you to have a look at those because you obviously are more inclined towards this is TMI for everybody else, I think you're more inclined towards sanitary towels. So open one up because I think these I'm looking at the heavier ones first, because obviously with endometriosis, you do tend to get heavier periods.

SPEAKER_01: 8:33

That is really long. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 8:35

That is really long, actually. That is so useful. So Lilette's their thing is all about confidence in your period. And and I think that's one of the things in that helps, you don't like leak at the back. That's the point. Oh, that's so useful. And that's the point. So Lilette's whole point is is that women going through the perimenopause should have more, you know, should be able to feel confident as well. And I think that's one of the things that we don't talk enough about in perimenopause or with women in perimenopause, about you lose confidence in your body because you don't know when your period's gonna come, because you don't know when it how heavy it's gonna be, because you don't even know if you're gonna have your like leaking, period leaking, you you don't know what your discharge is gonna be like, you change body odors, you change vaginal odors, you change you you lose all this confidence in your body in general. The last thing you want to worry about as well is if your period's gonna leak all over your clothes.

SPEAKER_01: 9:26

Yeah. So that you still think you're over that phase after like I know, right? A few years of puberty and you think I'm gonna I'm used to it now, it'll be okay. It's still like when you leak now. I've had my periods for 30, 14 years now, and I still sometimes I'll leak here and there. I'm like, oh no. I know. But it's just it makes you feel a bit more normal and a bit more sane when you know women still.

SPEAKER_00: 9:51

Yeah, but we shouldn't. This is the thing. We can feel this so we don't want shame anymore. Yeah. What we're trying to do is reduce the shame around things like you know, our peers being all over the place in paramenopause. We need to have these conversations because it's not as easy as all that. So that's why the extra length helps you to feel more confident and more secure, and that's what you're looking for. Also in perimenopause, it's really the light ones.

SPEAKER_01: 10:16

Yeah. Still just as long. I didn't think they would be.

SPEAKER_00: 10:18

No, that's the thing. So good. So they're both like super absorbent and they're both really, really long. And they have front and back wings. And they have front and back wings. There you go. And that's just so you feel extra confident. Yeah, and extra secure. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why we're having these conversations, so that so that you know that there are sanitary towels and sanitary products out there that even though you might not feel confident in your body or you might not feel confident during your period, there is a company out there that's saying, hey, listen, we've, you know, we have got your back.

SPEAKER_01: 10:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 10:50

And we need to be having those conversations about what that looks like. So even with the tampons, for example, now, not every woman would feel confident with a non-applicator tampon, but I'll tell you, there's two reasons why they're really, really important. I'm ruining the bug, sorry, Lilith. Um now, first and foremost, with the all the all the products, it's really, really important when you're on your period in perimenopause. It's extremely important that you're choosing products that are chlorine bleach-free, dye-free, and fragrance-free. Because in perimenopause, you are lacking in estrogen, so you're lacking in your natural collagen, your body's not producing its own moisturizer, its own lubricant. Sorry to be TMI on that one. But that means around your vulva, around all your genitalia in general, and just in your skin, you are going to be much more sensitive. Anything that's got bleaches, dyes, fragrances, it's gonna be, you're gonna find it really irritating. So absolutely 100%. Don't you must choose products that don't have kind of harsh chemicals in them. I don't agree with it anyway, these fragrance panty liners and stuff, you really don't need them. But especially in perimenopause, you know, don't get me started on those kind of like those products that I'm not bashing any of the companies whatsoever, but those products that are like marketed to women that you should like spray yourself down there to get rid of your natural odors and I'm like, oh, please don't. Yes. Anyway, so these are the non-applicator tampons. A good idea in perimenopause because when you've got an applicator tampon, you can't navigate it's it's less sensitive when you're using your fingers in perimenopause. Because you've got less natural lubricant, you're gonna be more sensitive with your fingers than you would naturally be with an applicator. And obviously it's not made of plastic, so it's gonna be more sensitive. So this is ultra absorbent because it's thicker, so it's gonna wrap around and make sure there's gonna be no leaks. That's really cool. I'm not a tampon girl, but that's really cool. Yeah. So you see, every day is a school day. So because it's thicker, it's more absorbent, and because there's not an applicator, you're gonna you are gonna be more sensitive than an applicator would. So that's really good. And the the last one in the range are the panty liners, and they're very discreet. We like a discrete panty liner because they're fun up. So on those in-between kind of days, you just keep them in your bag. You will go through times when you have a discharge and something you don't. Keeping some of these in your bag, you can you can just replace them.

unknown: 13:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 13:25

It's gonna save your underwear, it's gonna save your trousers. Yeah. Honestly, they're they're they're easy to use, and pantyliners are a good thing. They're they're a saviour. So just keeping a few panty liners in your bag, especially if you're out during the day and you're at meetings or work, they're they're so easy to use. I mean, they're they're very simple. And you know, they're very discreet, and just having a few in your bag, and listen, there's no shame in it. And this is why we're having this conversation. There is no no shame in understanding that your body is not trying to let you down. It really isn't, but you know, it's going through a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 14:04

So I think I think we just keep the conversation going and make and try and make it as normal as possible. Yeah. That your your periods are just gonna be all over the place. And even when, like I've you know, I've had the marina coil, but I still might get the odd spotting incident. Yeah, you know, literally the odd spotting incident we have. It's very out of nowhere. Yeah. And that's even when a pantaline, just having pantilines, yeah, would really help you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for, you know, those kind of things. So I think I think it's just really important to understand that for everyone in perimenopause, it's the unpredictability that causes a lack of confidence, I think, more than anything else. And that's where having a a whole kind of set of different things. You know, when they say like unpredictable, did you have you didn't have unpredictable period? Well, no, because I had the coil for forever. Yeah. But so many women will say to me, like, you know, you because you know we have a support group because you you're in there all the time helping everything. But you know, if you read women's comments, it'll be things like, Well, I've had two periods in the last three months, and then I've had three back to back. Yeah. Or I haven't had a period for this amount of time, and then I've had two in the last month. Yeah, yeah. That's all yeah. And and so that brings with it the whole roller coaster of emotions. Oh, I can imagine. So if you know how you feel when you when you're like, so a cup right, so obviously most of you as all know I've got three daughters. So uh if I'm I'm not that I'm earwigging your conversations, but if I'm listening to the conversations. So uh some of the some of the conversations I hear from you girls saying, Oh my god, it was so cute, and it was so sensitive, and I was gonna cry because like I'm on lating in two days.

SPEAKER_01: 15:52

That's the one Rowan.

SPEAKER_00: 15:53

That's Ian Rowan, oh my god. Yeah, and so he's like, oh my god, like I'm fighting my period tomorrow. So it's like super sensitive.

SPEAKER_01: 16:01

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00: 16:02

Right? And I'm like, oh my days, for God's sake. It's so true though. It's real. Yes, it's real. So imagine that you have no idea when your period's coming. Imagine that you don't know why you're feeling this way, and you don't know why you're feeling super sensitive, and then suddenly your period shows up out of nowhere, and it's not a normal period, it's like hugely painful, and you're it's cramping everywhere, and you weren't expecting it, or you've just finished a period and a week later it shows up again.

SPEAKER_01: 16:32

Can I ask another question that might be it's just I'm not, I'm I don't know about this. Of course you can. I don't want to be whatever. You know, now when I'm starting my period, for example, I know when mine's quite obviously predictable, 28-day cycle, that kind of thing. I have signs, warning signs prior of the swollen boobs, the hormones acting up, the da da da da.

SPEAKER_00: 16:52

If their cycles are still unpredictable, do they lose in one perimenopause period that you could lose in your 30s type period? Wow. So then you can become twice as much as crazy. Yeah, right. Because because it could have been stored up for a certain amount of time, and then you could end up losing twice as amount of blood. So imagine you could have you could then have like sudden fatigue because you've lost so much blood, and then you could like literally be hit with a kind of like iron deficiency. And bearing in mind, if you know, not if you're one of our women, because we will we will have talked to you about magnesium a hundred percent, but you could be magnesium deficient. If you're not like, you know, you let's talk about vitamin P defici vitamin D deficiency. So if you're deficient in magnesium and vitamin D, and then you have a really heavy period and you're low in iron, imagine the fatigue if you've lost twice the amount of blood that you would have normally lost in a period. It's massive. Okay? So the last thing that you want to, you know, it's it's all of these things really, really add up. So we we we have to we uh we have to take really, really good care of women in paramenopause. And so, you know, I'm gonna put into the show notes that the lovely, I always say the lovely humans that I always call up people lovely humans. But anybody, any company that's doing above and beyond for women in perimenopause, get my vote. You know what I'm live. Um but they they have some resources available and they have um a website link available. So I will put it in the show notes as well, just so that anybody that wants, they can go to the show notes for the for this podcast and click on the link, and there's lots of resources available that Lilettes have provided, and there's and there's links to the menopause charity work as well through the link to Lilettes, and they you can go there because what Lilettes are trying to do is give resources to people that might not have access to them as well.

SPEAKER_01: 18:40

I'm so happy that they're talking about endometriosis as well. Yeah, I know it's important. Those are good two things to be to be discussing that so many women are but dealing with both at the same time.

SPEAKER_00: 18:50

I know, and that's that's the other thing, is as well. It's like it's it's not just that you know, some women are dealing with one, some we some women are dealing with both. You're dealing with one, I'm dealing with one. I know, like, you know, we're dealing with both. It's um we are the perfect candidates. This was so This was so us. Oh my god. Yeah, so I think that's the point. It's like confidence in your period. Keep tracking, keep track of your periods as well. Um do we have a paramenopause do we have a period tracker in the in the in the portal, in the membership portal? I'm sure we do. I don't think we do. Do we not? No. I'm gonna make one. I'm gonna make one for our membership, you heard it here first. Yes, if you if you are in our paramenopause membership, I will make you a period tracker as well, because that's really, really important. It's you will see, I mean, hopefully we we track everything, I'm pretty sure. Um there's loads of trackers in in there as well.

SPEAKER_01: 19:46

There was a question that went in our paramenopause group recently of how do you track your cycles? Some women said calendar. Yeah. Some women said like an app, that kind of thing, and then some freestyle it. Most did somehow want to track it as well.

SPEAKER_00: 20:00

Okay, I'll make a tracker. Yeah, that would be good. I'll make a tracker. You'll get a tracker. Um if you do want that kind of person, what would you guys need? This? Oh, done. Yeah. 20 minutes. Give me 20 minutes, mate. I'll make one for you, my darlings. Um, if you do want to join our primary parry menopause membership, the link will be there as well. Because we we will love you and and hold you in a very, very safe place. That's that's what we're all about. All right, my darlings. I really hope that helps. Wherever you are in the world, obviously, right now for us it's World Menopause Um Awareness Month, and this is the closest episode to World Menopause Um Awareness Day, and we we want you to join with us, please, and keep the conversation going. If you can share this episode, we would really, really appreciate it because we're trying to spread the word and trying to get the conversation spread as far and wide as possible because we're so glad that you are here and that you are listening to us. That means the absolute world to us, you can't imagine. But we would love it if you can share the episode because um more and more women, as I said, there's 13 million women in the UK alone right now going through perimenopause and menopause. And there's so many women who are feeling very scared. When I first started going through the perimenopause, I literally thought I was going mad. Yeah, no one was having that conversation, no one was out there to help me, and I felt so very, very alone. So if we can stop one more woman thinking that she is all alone and that no one is there to help us, we will have done our job for today, my darlings. So, wherever you are in the world, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for joining us every week. We really do appreciate it. Have a beautiful World Menopause Health more health, World Menopause Awareness Day. Take care of yourselves. Thank you so much, and we will speak to you soon. Bye. Thanks for joining us today on the Uncomplicated Paramenopause podcast. We hope you found this episode helpful and inspiring.

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Don't forget, if you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover, you can reach out for our Peramenopause group or on WhatsApp.

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For more information on my coaching, perimenopause supplements, books for upcoming events, please visit www.caterosner.com.

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And if you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. It really helps us reach more listeners just like you.

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Until next time, remember perimenopause doesn't have to be complicated. We're here to help you every step of the way.

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Stay uncomplicated.