Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome to the Uncomplicated Perimenopause Podcast. I'm Kate Grosvenor, your friendly perimenopause expert and life coach.

Speaker 2: 0:15

And I'm Gabriella Kate's daughter, representing all the women who are nowhere near perimenopause but want to understand it better.

Speaker 1: 0:23

Whether you're just starting your perimenopause journey deep into it, whether you're just starting your perimenopause journey deep into it or you're a loved one trying to support someone who is we've got you covered.

Speaker 2: 0:32

We'll be answering all of your burning questions, exploring the ups and downs, and sharing expert advice and personal insights.

Speaker 1: 0:39

So grab a cup of tea, get comfy and let's dive into the wonderful. Get comfy and let's dive into the wonderful, sometimes wild, world of perimenopause together.

Speaker 2: 0:47

And remember, no matter where you are on your journey, you are not alone.

Speaker 1: 1:00

Welcome to the Uncomplicated Perimenopause. Hello, my darlings, and welcome to episode 13 of the Uncomplicated Perimenopause podcast. My name is Kate Grosvenor.

Speaker 2: 1:09

I'm a perimenopause expert and life coach and I'm Gabriela Grosvenor, kate's daughter, here to learn with you all. How are you doing, my darling? I'm okay, how are you?

Speaker 1: 1:17

I'm having a bit of a shit show today. I've got one of the most fabulous perimenopauseopause symptoms, which is a frozen shoulder. So if I start whining and groping at my shoulder, I'm not being weird, I'm having one of those frozen shoulder. You know very little about it, yeah, so if I'm, if I'm being grumpy today, it's actually a symptom, it's awful?

Speaker 1: 1:36

yeah, it's awful. It's a horrible, horrible, horrible one. So if I'm being grumpy, that's why, but I'm sure I'm going to be fabulously cheered up with a beautiful question from one of our fabulous listeners.

Speaker 2: 1:48

So hit me with it. I really like this question. Okay, it's been submitted, actually, by a few people, oh, cool, over the last couple of months. Give me a good one. It's not a question, it's a topic that we need to discuss.

Speaker 1: 1:59

Okay, and I really want to discuss this one perimenopause rage oh how, how apt, because I'm in a bit of a funk myself today. So, and this is actually probably a good one, because I think I can put some oomph into this one, because I'm feeling a bit ragey myself I had a bad night's sleep with this shoulder okay, anything in particular about rage or just what the hell just yeah, I think, and how to control it and good luck, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1: 2:23

Okay. So why the rage and what would we do? Kind of question oh, cool, right, how long have we got? It's one of those, one of those. What do we? Because perimenopausal rage is a bit different from normal rage, you're quite a ragey human.

Speaker 2: 2:37

Oh, I am, oh I am, and that's okay, I can is it? Yeah, no, I'm okay with that. Zero to a hundred person. That's okay. There are many like me out there. Let's spread awareness, guys. I think you do quite a good job on your own actually. I do, I do. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Speaker 1: 2:53

God bless my husband after I'm in the perimenopause too okay, maybe you need to chill out a little bit before you get there. That's exactly what you want to just chill out. I can't. I don't say it to you a lot, just darling. It's not worth it it is worth it in here.

Speaker 1: 3:07

It's worth it. I was quite um an aggressive little bunny rabbit back in the day because things used to just get under my collar and I'd just be like, really like ah, about them. And then I think as you get older you're just like it's just not worth it yeah, when you get older you realize people are not worth disrupting your peace.

Speaker 2: 3:25

Yeah, but they still come in to my space and disrupt my peace.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Yeah, so it's a little bit hard to just I just don't care anymore. I just think that's a you problem do you not suffer?

Speaker 1: 3:36

from perimenopause rage me personally very seldom, but I'm quite a Zen person. In general, I'm not that bothered about my rage is less from other people. My disruption is more internal frustration. So so, for example, today I've been more disrupted by the shoulder, simply because it's extremely painful, and I'm frustrated by it because I want to get things done and I can't get things done because my shoulder's being a banana and annoying me.

Speaker 2: 4:07

You have pain, pain anyways most days, so that that is frustrating.

Speaker 1: 4:11

Yeah, because I have the neuralgia thing and that's just frustrating. So I get frustrated more than rage. So what?

Speaker 2: 4:18

do these women feel what is, what is, what is paramenopausal rage?

Speaker 1: 4:22

well it's. I don't want to say it's an irrational rage because I don't want to gaslight anybody and I hate it when you know the implication that so I will swear blind. This isn't true. So I'm just hoping that neither of my ex-husbands nor my partner listen, isn't ever going to listen to this. I will not admit to this in a court of law. In pregnancy I nutter. Okay, I was not normal, but I you know it was all their fault, but they were horrible both of them in pregnancy they were so unsupportive to really yeah, so unsupportive and mean and just left me to it on my own.

Speaker 1: 4:57

But I had pre-enclampsia. I was really miserable. I had no family support because I was in a foreign country and they were just mean and horrible and nasty.

Speaker 2: 5:05

That's something else, yes, a whole other podcast or topic.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Yeah, but I wasn't very stable in pregnancy because I was really ill and, as I said, I had no support and I used to get really kind of fractious and it's a hormonal rage and that's the thing. So it's kind of similar in many ways, because you feel like it almost spreads up through you from your toes.

Speaker 2: 5:33

Okay, the rage, the rage.

Speaker 1: 5:34

So it kind of washes up, okay, you know, like when you have an orgasm.

Speaker 2: 5:38

Okay, I was just thinking about I'm an adult, it's fine, and then I heard that okay.

Speaker 1: 5:45

But you know when, when your hormone it goes, it comes through your body and up and out. So anything hormonal kind of comes up through and out, okay. So rage is a bit like that. It doesn't, it doesn't just come from one place, you don't just get it in your head and out, it kind of comes up through and out. So, for example, when I get frustrated or I get angry, my chest goes red, okay, and that's how you know I'm really. I like I'm losing my shit, right, you know. Or I'm frustrated because this will go red, and you'll know, from the toes up. It's gone up there. It maybe not from my toes, but it's kind of gone hot and out.

Speaker 2: 6:23

So it's not a sudden thing, it's not a a little thing, it really hits you you know, when people I I've been told this a lot in my life you're very zero to 100 person, isn't that what rages, though you go yeah it is, but in perimenopause it's kind of I don't want to say it's uncontrollable, but it is really overwhelming.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Okay, again, I don't want to make it seem trivial, but I don't also want to make it seem like we're all mad do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1: 6:56

yeah, but it's it's really hormonally based and it's based on a lot of different symptoms. So if I, if I start describing to you where it comes from, it might be easier, because then you'll understand. There's so many factors to it. So obviously, the first one is hormonal. Right, we've got this, as I always say every episode. We've got this estrogen and progesterone imbalance. Yeah, okay, hormones are crucial to regulate your mood. We've got estrogen that's leaving our body in this kind of wiggly line. We've got progesterone that's leaving in a straight line. They're never in the same balance all the way through. This fluctuates and it does lead to irritability, it does lead to anxiety and it does lead to mood swings. There's nothing we can do about those and you don't wake up in there as the same woman every day.

Speaker 2: 7:42

Yeah, genuinely any day, not any day menopause, not even with perimenopause.

Speaker 1: 7:46

yeah, but in perimenopause you gaslight yourself, you wake up and you're like who am I today? Oh, I'm a different human than I was yesterday. La, la, la, la la. Is that sad? Do you feel sad, honestly? Yes, okay, but I'm so used to it. And yes, but I'm so used to it and I know so much about myself, having done so much work on myself for what I do for a living.

Speaker 1: 8:08

But it's taken me a lot of years to get here and a lot of work and a lot of reflection. And there's still days when I just think I just wish it were easier. And then I have to have a long talk with myself like, come on, grosvenor, don't wish it was easier, wish you were better and I get to have that conversation with myself. No, you just need to put on your big girl pants and off we go and and I have to do that whole kind of like you're a big, strong woman and you can do this. But it's sometimes you just think off, you know, stop it. I just today could be easier. And you feel like you want to say to yourself I should be better than this, I should have an easier time than this, I should be okay. Just to wake up in the morning and it should be a normal day, and it's never a normal day as in like the universe you kind of want to shout it's not fair universe, give me an easier ride.

Speaker 1: 9:04

And when all those days stack on top of each other, it gets so frustrating that one more day you wake up and it's, and it's crap again. That's where the rage can come from.

Speaker 1: 9:16

It's like, oh, fuck off now yeah with the lack of everything, with just like I've had another bad night's sleep and I've, and I've woken up with something like a frozen shoulder or I've done I've had night night sweats again. By the way, pampu Pyjamas girl, keep telling you I've had night sweats again, or I've woken up with a headache again, or a headache cluster again, and you already suffer with insomnia. Yeah, and it's enough Mm-hmm. And then something goes wrong in the morning and it's just too much. So, and then testosterone as well. So I know testosterone we've had this conversation back, I don't know episode three, four about testosterone.

Speaker 1: 9:54

But not having enough testosterone as well can also lead to irritability. So you've got sleep disruptions because it's night sweats, it's hot flushes, you've got insomnia, which can cause all the hormonal problems. And if you don't get enough deep sleep. So we're talking about the deeper sleep stages. You've talked to me about this before. Yeah, if you don't get enough deep sleep, then you're not going to regulate your hormones. You're not going to have that feeling rested, because sleep stages, too, where you do your REM sleep, have that feeling rested. Because sleep stages, too, where you do your rem sleep, you know your rapid eye movement sleep is where you do your kind of executive functions.

Speaker 1: 10:30

You do all your admin, so your brain goes through your uh, you've read this from admin yeah, you sort stuff out, it files things it needs to file and you do all your dreaming and stuff and that's great. But if you don't get your deep sleep, you don't get your hormone regulation, you don't get your immunity boosters, you don't get your beauty sleep, all that stuff, and you need that to feel rested. And if you don't feel rested you're going to get irritable standard. Your stress response is buggered up as well. Sorry, I'm a bit sweary today. I do apologize, it's the rage. It's the rage. We're talking about the rage cortisol levels. So chronic stress during perimenopause can elevate cortisol levels, which lead to guess what anxiety and irritability.

Speaker 1: 11:21

But again, obviously yeah, okay, yeah and life stresses, so paramenopause often coincides with significant life changes.

Speaker 1: 11:30

Children leaving home yeah yeah, is that, yeah, empty nest right you start looking after your aging parents, who are a pain in the ass. People don't retire that much at your age. Not, they don't retire, but they wind. A lot of women start to wind down their careers, or they feel like they're coming to the end of a career, or they feel like, because their kids have left home, they might be going to a career transition. So for me, for example, I'm starting to think, oh, I can maybe travel more or I could change. I don't want to change. I've got the best job in the world, but I could maybe. You know, I've always wanted to do a TV show, for example.

Speaker 2: 12:07

Who thinks that Kate would be amazing on a TV show? I think we all do, do you?

Speaker 1: 12:12

Well, like, do you want to host a TV show? I'd love to host a TV show. So I'd love to host a TV show like during the daytime, like a TV talk show show where we could actually have a real conversation about women's issues. No, so like loose women, more like oprah winfrey, more like do you know, like actually have guests on?

Speaker 2: 12:31

yeah, like do barrymore what she's doing. There you go, have women, but like I get the vibe, but that kind of thing, because we need to make it happen.

Speaker 1: 12:38

people we do. But you know, that kind of thing I'd love to do that because we used to have them back in the day and we don't really have them anymore and I'd love to do that, but I've always said, well, not when the kids are at home, because I'd have to. You know, school runs and stuff.

Speaker 2: 12:53

It's not going to be where we will live either. I don't think. No, it's not in Yorkshire.

Speaker 1: 12:57

Although they do have a. I was going to say maybe there or.

Speaker 2: 13:00

Leeds. We're bigger than Leeds, though Sheffield's bigger than Leeds.

Speaker 1: 13:06

We don't live in. Sheffield.

Speaker 2: 13:08

Anywho, in my head I live in Sheffield. Okay, your head's a bit, don't get me angry.

Speaker 1: 13:14

Don't make me angry you won't like me when I'm angry but so you can be looking after aging parents. Leaving home, career, career transitions and all of that stress contributes to rage, okay, so it's all this kind of stuff going on. And then you've got psychological factors like identity and body issues. So body, so your body, changes in perimenopause, yeah, and most women aren't at ease with it. So we've talked before about there's a secondary source of estrogen that you can get. So when your ovaries start winding down their production of estrogen, from the ovaries, there's a secondary source of estrogen that's not as good, but your body tries to make it work, tries its best little trooper, which is around your fat cells, around your tummy. Okay, so you tend to put on a little bit of extra weight around your tummy area and that's because your body's trying to produce your fat cells get estrogen out of it isn't that the same when you're younger?

Speaker 2: 14:14

so before you have babies I heard something about that before when women need a little bit extra fat anyways around their stomach to do with babies, when you can have babies or something that's just an egyptian wife tail. No, like child made hips kind of phrase. Yeah, okay, no wife tail yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:30

So that's just like. I just know where you got these stories from. I know exactly who you got these stories from a few women, yeah, older women when they're trying to persuade you that you, yeah, anyway. So you tend to gain weight in different areas. Weight's more difficult to move. It's much more difficult to lose weight.

Speaker 1: 14:51

It's doable, but it's it tends to look at cortisol issues and stress levels and it's it's a very different type of weight if you want to maintain or lose weight in perimenopause, stress levels can stress yeah, your stress levels are really so. In perimenopause, your stress levels can. Yeah, your stress levels are really so. In perimenopause, one of the biggest issues is stress levels and if you want to lose weight, you have to look after your gut and you have to look after your stress levels. If you're very stressed, your cortisol will just not allow you to lose weight and you can become insulin resistant as well in perimenopause, which means it's another podcast, basically.

Speaker 1: 15:24

So your frustration with your physical appearance because your your hair is getting maybe thinner, yeah, collagen your skin is getting, you know, can start. You've lost the collagen in your skin, so you know. This is why I know I bang on about collagen supplements a lot, but it does really really help. But because your skin can be maturing at a much more rapid rate, your hair can be looking thinner, you can be gaining weight. So all of these things combined can lead you to be feeling really frustrated and kind of angry about your appearance. Like you don't feel or look like yourself.

Speaker 1: 16:03

I've seen a few comments like that yeah, you don't feel like you look in the mirror and you don't recognize you and that's really traumatizing. It's like who's this woman?

Speaker 2: 16:14

yeah, that sucks.

Speaker 1: 16:15

yeah, I can imagine like you look in the mirror and it's like that's who's that old woman? She's not, not me, cause it can happen.

Speaker 2: 16:23

Yeah, when you suddenly feel it, is it not gradual? Well, it's it is gradual, but you just you catch a glimpse of yourself and it's like yeah, I see a lot of these women saying I just want to feel like me again, I want to remember who me is, and it's like oh, I know it's sad, right, yeah.

Speaker 1: 16:40

And then you've got if you've had like a mental, if you've got a history of maybe adverse mental health, so you've got a history of depression or anxiety, some kind of trauma history. Yeah, a lot of women find that these conditions get worse during perimenopause because obviously the hormonal changes and everything else get worse and the loneliness gets worse and the feelings of isolation get worse. Yeah, so a lot of women will find that that kind of thing becomes exacerbated during perimenopause. So, again, this triggers more rage because you feel like your, your mental health's not a good place and you, to add to that, you women, do all the emotional labor in families. So you've got all this going on. And then you bear the cumulative stress of your teenage kids. Yeah, your aging parents, your female friends who are unloading on you, everybody that has other problems, are kind of loading onto you at the same time and you're already drowning still.

Speaker 2: 17:48

Why is that a thing when it's like mothers are just the problem solvers of the family, you go to the mum. Who's it going to be?

Speaker 1: 17:56

Come on dads. Come on dads, step dad, step up. I mean, right, it's his story. Because, yeah, the kids want someone to solve. You know, men try and solve problems yeah, by throwing solutions yeah, but how many times do you come to me because you want me to solve your problem? I just want to. You just want to unload and you want to talk and you want me to listen and you want me to go. I'm really sorry that she said that, and how dare she exactly. You don't want me to go?

Speaker 2: 18:21

yes, that's exactly what you want to hear you don't want me to go.

Speaker 1: 18:24

Well, you should dump her as a friend and you're like mate. I've known this woman all my life. I've dumped her as a friend, like that's not the solution. You want me to go? She did not know.

Speaker 1: 18:35

Also, don't forget your serotonin and your dopamine are affected by perimenopause. So, because your gut is badly affected, most of your serotonin again is producing your gut. So your serotonin is your feel-good hormone neurotransmitter. 90 of your serotonin is producing your gut. You have issues with your gut if you don't look after your gut. This is why we say look after your gut in perimenopause. If you're not looking after your gut, you are not getting enough serotonin. Serotonin is the thing that makes you feel calm. So, really looking after yourself is really your stress and your gut. Yes, it's the be all and end all. So if you don't look after your dopamine, you don't look after your dopamine, you don't look after your serotonin.

Speaker 1: 19:15

Your fluctuations in your just everyday life are going to lead to feelings of anger, irritability. What's regulating your mood? Gaba as well is another neurotransmitter and it can also be affected in perimenopause and you'll also feel more anxious and you'll also lead to more stress. You you know I was saying about the frozen shoulder, which is absolutely. I'm not gonna lie, I'm sitting here going ow, but aches and pains. So joint pain, muscle stiffness, other physical discomforts that accompany perimenopause can really lead to frustration and irritability. I've been so pissed off all day from the shoulder because I'm trying to type, I'm trying to write, and it's every few minutes. I'm standing up and I'm just like, oh, that's really annoying, yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:03

So how do women get their daily dopamine rush?

Speaker 1: 20:08

and how do you get through all of this? So dopamine is success getting things done. So journaling is really really good having a to-do list. I call it to-do list, um, because then you can take it off and go to da. But I don't like being told what to do, but you can tell yourself what to do no but. I don't like being told what to do because I mean from you know, having been in a very controlling marriage and you were a head mistress like less, not even so.

Speaker 1: 20:35

Being told what to do is just not on my to-do list, even yourself, yes, okay. So I like to have a ta-da list because then I can tick it off and go ta-da, that's cute, I thought so. So just having a list that you can tick off, because every time you tick it off you get a hit of dopamine Ding, ding, ding. So that works really, really well. If you wake up in the morning and you gratitude journal, yeah, yeah, you're going to get that straight away, that hit of of dopamine, that hit of, just like I'm succeeding at life. If you wake up in the morning and you started with a bit of exercise, a bit of yoga and journaling. You know, I used to laugh and find it very, very funny with these like hippy dippy chicks that were like hugging trees and they were so right. You know the whole kind of wake up in the morning, have a glass of water, do some yoga, gratitude journaling I was like you know, go hug a tree and they're absolutely nailed it, yeah, absolutely nailed it, because you get a release of endorphins and dopamine and all the kind of beautiful neurotransmitters in the morning you set yourself up isn't actually like an intoxicating mix of neurotransmitters. In the morning, you set yourself up.

Speaker 1: 21:48

You don't need caffeine in the morning. Yeah, you don't need caffeine for the first like hour and a half of your day because actually, the stress hormone, which we know is cortisol, it's actually a wide awake hormone and it's actually really good for you to have, yeah, in the morning because it keeps you wide awake so you could have a cup of tea or a cup of coffee an hour and a half after you wake up. Yeah, because you're actually wasting your, your caffeine, craving for caffeine, but that's, it's actually a mental habit, it's not a physical habit. No, so you shouldn't have too many cups of tea or coffee, especially in perimenopause. Yeah, because caffeine is a stimulant and we're talking about rage. If you're overstimulated, you're going to make rage feel a lot worse. So if you're going to have, I have one cup of coffee, yeah, yeah. So I I, if you notice, I'll bring it to the studio, because if I drink it first thing in the morning, I'm wasting the coffee.

Speaker 2: 22:42

Yeah, I get that, because my cortisol.

Speaker 1: 22:44

See, my cortisol is doing the job for me. Yeah, so it's waking me up for the first hour and a half, so I have the coffee an hour and a half after I wake up in the studio, rather than having the coffee first thing when I wake up.

Speaker 2: 22:57

Do you know what helps me with my rage? Actually, this is something that you gave me and I love. It is the. I do do the journaling, but I love the affirmation cards more. It's almost like I I don't fake anything, but it's like, do you know, when I wake up in the morning and I read it, my brain convinces me that I needed to hear that today.

Speaker 1: 23:12

Yeah, Not necessarily I didn't need to hear it, but it just changes my whole attitude on the day and it's like yes, I am, I am strong, I am good. But that's what affirmations are for. Affirmations are there to give you that positive statement. So if you wake up in the morning and you're like I'm not enough for this day because we all wake up feeling some kind of way, right, that shit fm just starts in the morning and it tells you I'm so tired because women have women are hilarious in that we'll we'll go to sleep already thinking I'm not going to get enough sleep for tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 23:42

Yeah, if I go to sleep now, I'll only have seven hours. Yeah, even if I'm asleep now, I don't have enough sleep for tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 23:47

So I'm going to be tired tomorrow before you've even gone to sleep, so I'm going to worry about something that hasn't I'm going to worry about yeah, I'm going to worry from now about how much sleep I'm not going to have, so I'm going to be.

Speaker 1: 23:58

I'm going to be tired for tomorrow Already. Already, I've not slept yet, but I'm going to have a really bad day tomorrow, okay. So then we wake up and we're already stressed because we haven't slept enough and we knew that before we went to sleep. Not that we've turned Netflix off to go to sleep, but anyway. So we wake up and we're like I'm I'm really tired, I haven't had enough sleep and I'm really tired and I knew I wouldn't, but I didn't turn Netflix off.

Speaker 1: 24:19

But that's another story. But I'm already stressed and I'm tired and I can't cope with today. Today's gonna be too much for me and I'm really stressed about today and I can't do today because it's just gonna beat me, yeah, and it's just gonna be a really, really horrible day. I can't get everything done and it's just gonna be awful, but we'll see. With the affirmations. But with the affirmations you flip it.

Speaker 1: 24:39

So instead of saying I don't have enough energy today, yeah, you say I have more energy, I have more than enough energy for today. Instead of saying I'm not enough for today, you go I'm more than enough for today. And you just flip them around and your brain your brain's thick, not your brain, everybody's brain, your brain, your brain's thick, not your brain, everybody's brain. Your brain will believe whatever you tell, it's true. So if you say I'm tired, your brain will go oh gosh, you're so tired, poor you. And then you.

Speaker 1: 25:05

And then what happens? When you tell your brain it's tired, your brain will give you a reason to make bad food choices. So you go downstairs, right? So you say I'm really tired, I'm so tired. You'll go downstairs and you go I'm so tired, I deserve a croissant, I'm right, and I'm going to have chocolate with my croissant because I'm so tired I need sugar. So you go downstairs, you make a big mug of coffee because you're so tired you need coffee, right, and you're furious face so tired, ignore the cortisol that's keeping you awake. And then you have like croissant on chocolate. So you have this sugar carb rush. So you've spiked your caffeine, which is a stimulant. You've spiked your sugar and your carb, which are both going to like hit your insulin. So you're going to have a caffeine crash, sugar crash in about an hour and a half to two hours and then you're going to be really low and really like frustrated and just feel exhausted and you'll convince your brain as well.

Speaker 1: 26:06

Yeah, because you've convinced your brain so then what happens is you're going to need to have another sugar spike and more caffeine yeah to pick you back up again yeah, in about two hours, because you're going to be absolutely on your knees exhausted. So then you do it again and you'll go crash, boom, crash, boom, crash, boom all the way throughout the day. However, if you'd have said to yourself I've got more than enough energy for today, today's gonna be a great day. You're in exactly the same place, but you make, so you go, tastes gonna be great and, bearing in mind you know really that you're in exactly the same place, yeah so you go I've got more than enough energy.

Speaker 1: 26:40

Today tastes gonna be great and you go and you get your greek yogurt and you get your overnight oats, and you get your blueberries and you put your collagen in and you pack your tea into your bag and you drink your water and you have this balanced meal with protein and collagen and blueberries and stuff, and you eat it, yeah, and your blood sugar stays stable. You're off to a good start. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But it's just because you've said today's gonna be a great day. Yeah, your brain just makes a sensible choice.

Speaker 2: 27:09

The mind is very powerful it's a very powerful thing.

Speaker 1: 27:11

Anyway. I digress, probably, but by about an hour um, so this was helpful, yeah, but so digestive issues as well can make you feel really angry. So if you ever tried to feel really happy when you're really bloated and gassy.

Speaker 2: 27:29

I mean, I get bloated every day, so it's a bit.

Speaker 1: 27:31

But you know when, like, you're like, like yeah, and then like laugh, yeah, it's not gonna happen, is it? No? No other things that can make you feel really angry when people make jokes about your age or stigma, about menopause or um, jokes about you being in menopause, or someone goes, oh, having a hot flash, and it's on television people make these jokes they think it's really really funny and they are usually men or younger women.

Speaker 1: 27:59

Sorry soz, but yeah, and it's not funny guys. No, it's not funny, it's. There's a lot of stigma around menopause and and they use the word menopause, it's not primary.

Speaker 2: 28:12

They don't get it. Yeah, I mean, I only got it, like we started doing this, but like, still, it's not menopause but there's a lot of stigma around it.

Speaker 1: 28:21

It's kind of like almost like, oh you, oh, you're having hot flats, yeah. So it makes you feel very isolated and it makes you feel like you're the butt of a joke. But it's also the thing about that you're perceived to be failing if you're not coping, yeah, and that in itself can cause internalised anger, because you're supposed to reach a certain age where you're calm, you're collected, you're wise, you're whatever. And then this feeling of I'm supposed to be in control, you're supposed to be nurturing, you've had kids, you're supposed to be mother earth, yeah, yeah. And then you feel really frustrated and you're like it's that internal judgment. Other things that can cause it is things like nutritional deficiencies. So be really, really careful of your magnesium and vitamin D can cause it and just be really aware of just your mindset in general and just make sure that you're reflective of your own mindset and your own personal space and making sure that people aren't taking advantage of you. I'd say is is the best idea yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:29

I can't believe I went over again.

Speaker 2: 29:31

I've got this was a really good one, though. I've enjoyed talking about this has helped me, it's educated me a little bit good.

Speaker 1: 29:36

I hope so.

Speaker 2: 29:37

I feel like I hope same for you.

Speaker 1: 29:38

Good, I feel like I need to do a whole another one on what you can do as well, but I go on too much. I know this is just such a big. Somebody said to me the day how are you going to keep on talking about perimenopause?

Speaker 2: 29:51

I'm like, yeah, 117 symptoms, mate.

Speaker 1: 29:54

Honestly, it's so much, not even All right. My lovelies, I hope that's helped. Do keep sending us your questions. We are more than happy to help you. If you have any questions, you know where to go. You can. Don't forget, you can contact us in our facebook group or on whatsapp. Take care and, as always, we wish you an absolutely beautiful week and we will speak to you soon, my darlings bye. Thanks for joining us today on the uncomplicated perimenopause podcast. We hope you found this episode helpful and inspiring, don't forget.

Speaker 2: 30:35

If you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover, you can reach out through our perimenopause group or on whatsapp for more information on my coaching, perimenopause supplements, books or upcoming events, please visit wwwkatebrovnercom and if you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate and review our podcast. It really helps us reach more listeners, just like you.

Speaker 1: 30:59

Until next time remember, perimenopause doesn't have to be complicated. We're here to help you every step of the way.

Speaker 2: 31:08

Stay uncomplicated.