Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, my darlings, and welcome to episode 12 of the Uncomplicated Perimenopause Podcast. I'm Kate Grosvenor, a perimenopause expert and life coach, and I'm Gabriella Grosvenor, kate's daughter, here to learn with you all. So, my darlings, as we kind of head off into the Do you know what? Today it's autumn. No, it is, and I'm really annoyed. No, that's it. We're in August still. It is actually rude. Yeah, because we're recording this and it's end of August and it's cold, and it's cold and I'm in a jumper and you're in a jacket.

Speaker 2: 0:33

Yeah, I can't go out now without a coat on. No, that's it, you're in a jacket.

Speaker 1: 0:40

Yeah, and there's probably people out there that are going. Yeah, and there's probably people out there that are going. What are you talking about? We live in a nice fill in the missing dots, a nice warm country, and what are you guys doing in winter clothes or autumn clothes? So we're annoyed. Where are you from? Because you've probably got beautiful weather.

Speaker 2: 0:54

Everywhere else does I think yeah everywhere else does, apart from us.

Speaker 1: 0:58

Boo. Anyway, I digress, Darling. What is the fabulous question for today, please? Question comes from Christina. It comes from the States. Oh lovely, I bet you've got lovely weather.

Speaker 2: 1:09

She's in our perimenopause membership as well.

Speaker 1: 1:11

Oh, lovely, hi Christina. Christina wants to know. Oh, I know who that is now. Yes, hi, christina.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Christina wants to know if anxiety ever goes away and how it goes away.

Speaker 1: 1:20

Oh ooh, good question.

Speaker 2: 1:23

Do you want to know this one?

Speaker 1: 1:24

as well. Okay, so anxiety during perimenopause is slightly different from anxiety in general. So anxiety, it's a really good question. It's one of those where you're going to go. I could actually talk for another 20 hours on this one, right?

Speaker 1: 1:39

Anxiety during perimenopause um can manifest itself in many different ways and it can be triggered due to other factors than than normal perimenopause, normal anxiety. So anxiety is a habit that your brain gets into. It's not your personality type. So people go I'm an anxious person. No, I'm going to say no on that one. Anxiety is a habit and your brain gets into the habit of saying what if, what if, what if, what if? And it tries to do the what if, what if, what if? To keep you safe. Yeah, okay. So anxiety is your brain's reaction to trying to think around all the possible solutions to keep you safe from the dangers of the world, and modern stress is the equivalent of keeping you safe from the beasts and the things that were going to attack you back in the day, and the things that were going to attack you back in the day. So if you go back to Neanderthal times, the things that were going to eat you and end your life are the equivalent of modern day stress.

Speaker 2: 2:52

I was going to say. Sometimes anxiety still feels like that. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 2:56

The boogeyman is going to come and get you, and that's modern day stress. However, in perimenopause, there's factors beyond that, and some of them are triggered by hormones, and some of them are triggered by physical symptoms as well. So for many, many women, perimenopause will trigger symptoms of anxiety that were never there before. So if you had anxiety before perimenopause, you will find that your anxiety is worse, unfortunately, and if you never had anxiety which is very rare a lot of people will go through either periods of anxiety. So I had a really bad anxiety at university. Yeah, um, as you know, my mum was an alcoholic blesser and when I first went to university, it was very difficult for me because I'd get phone calls saying oh, you've got to come back, your mum's been admitted to hospital, you've got to go come back because, yeah, it was really tough because I was trying to. I went to London University and that's quite difficult on its own.

Speaker 1: 4:07

I was first year at uni and I'd get phone calls saying oh, all these things have gone wrong with your mum while you've been. You know who. Who would call you Ian, and so it was like you've abandoned your mum.

Speaker 2: 4:22

Yeah, I was at uni, it's not that you're not so close as well from london, where you can just well, yeah, and as well.

Speaker 1: 4:30

It would be like well, you're her partner, so you need to kind of deal with stuff. Anyway, long story. So I've gone through pockets of anxiety that was situational. The thing about perimenopause is it? It kind of exacerbates anxiety and then it gives you new anxiety as well. So there can be anxiety that's triggered by. I'll go through some of the things that triggers anxiety, but it all can. It can also be situational. So things that you were never anxious about, um, a common one is things like, for example, driving in the dark. Yes, women that were never triggered by things like driving in the dark suddenly go. I don't want to do it, yeah, not a chance. Or social anxiety. So I used. I'm not a social person, social person, as you know. People wouldn't actually think I don't like my social back. I cannot do small talk at all and people think I'm making it up no, you really can't no, I don't.

Speaker 1: 5:37

I just look at people like what, why? Why are you asking me those?

Speaker 2: 5:40

yeah, it's so funny to actually watch because when we went to london and then you and I went together and I'm very good at like hi and those kind of talks, and you're just like okay no, and this is, and people find this that exactly is just it no, people don't find this really bizarre because I'm a people person.

Speaker 1: 6:05

Yeah, but talk to me about what's going on, yeah, so tell me what's, what's your?

Speaker 1: 6:09

problem conversation tell me what's your problem? Like. I'd rather you come up me and tell me what your life problems are. Yeah, then ask. Then tell me, talk about the weather or your. I know I just I have zero interest. Fair, yeah, rowan's exactly the same. Like we can't do it and it's being neurodivergent, it's being on the spectrum. I guess that's what the issue is, but it's like I don't understand it Does that bring you anxiety Not being able to be yeah, I hate weddings Like I would rather stand on stage in front of 10,000 people genuine story.

Speaker 1: 6:47

Tell me I've got a ted talk tomorrow, okay, and give me five hours to prepare, okay. Then tell me I've got to go to a wedding on a table full of 12 people that I have to make small talk with. Wow, genuine story. So what does? That mean for your anxiety um, for me personally, I'd rather be on stage because I know that I'm going to be able to give a presentation and inspire thousands of people, than sit there and have to make small talk for five hours straight because I can't do it.

Speaker 2: 7:14

What anxiety do women feel? Like social anxiety they feel if they've not felt it before.

Speaker 1: 7:20

So the symptoms of anxiety are the symptoms of anxiety. So the symptoms of anxiety are the symptoms of anxiety. So it's shallow breathing, rapid heart rate, sweaty palms kind of the same anxiety feelings as you would feel normally, but it's triggered by different things. So you know what triggers that. Let's run through them. What triggers anxiety in in perimenopause? So, first of all, it could be neurotransmitter imbalances, so serotonin and GABA. So research suggests that fluctuations in um estrogen can affect the production of things like serotonin. We've talked about this before when we talked about gut imbalances. So serotonin regulates your mood, it's one of your happy hormones and GABA promotes relaxation.

Speaker 1: 8:11

Lower levels of these types of neurotransmitters lead to sudden onset anxieties or panic attacks. So again, these can. These can lead to you not wanting to do things like driving or social events. You also are more likely to then have increased sensitivity to stress. You can have what we call cortisol reactivity. So as women age, your body's reaction to stress can become more pronounced. So perimenopausal women can experience heightened sensitivity to stress, which can manifest as sudden anxiety in situations that previously felt quite manageable.

Speaker 1: 8:56

Yeah, again, social gatherings. We're also our body is likely to produce more cortisol at this age likely to produce more cortisol at this age. Um, because we're just, you know we're we're our bodies again, because we're not producing as many happy neurotransmitters. We're less likely to feel cuddly, so we're going to get less oxytocin. We're more likely to have, um, imbalances in our gut, which is where we produce 90 of our serotonin. Um, we're less likely to go for runs and exercise, so we're not going to get all those endorphins. We're less likely, you know, and we're less likely to feel a sense of success, so we're less likely to get dopamines.

Speaker 1: 9:37

You know we're, we're short on the happy hormones, so we're more likely to to get kind of stress hormones running through our body. We're also kind of suffering a little bit with social role changes. So as we approach midlife we can get that kind of empty nest thing. You kind of sometimes poke fun at me going. Oh, you know Jenna's leaving next year to uni, so you know you're going to have an empty nest and all that gonna feel. I don't know how it's gonna feel. Yeah, I genuinely don't know how it's gonna feel. I feel like, oh, bit of peace, a bit of peace and quiet.

Speaker 2: 10:20

That's how I think it might, I was gonna, was going to say I think, you think it's going to feel like that, but I don't think it will be like that.

Speaker 1: 10:28

I mean, I don't tend to get a lot of peace and quiet, even when some of the children are away. Not mentioning any names, you know, um, not me. No, I'm not that bad, no, um. But also, if some women who might be taking early retirement or thinking about retirement, the kind of transitioning out of a long-term career, yeah that might cause um.

Speaker 1: 10:53

Like grandpa, for example, he's not the same person now. He's not working full-time, so those kind of changes as well can provoke anxiety, um, particularly if they affect your sense of purpose or your identity.

Speaker 2: 11:08

Like boredom as well, can make you more anxious.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Yeah. So if you've had an identity or a purpose in your role as mother, so, for example, if you gave up your career and you've raised your kids, which is great, why not? You know, that's your identity. Imagine then if your kids leave and go to uni. Yeah, or they leave home and start their own lives, or they leave home and get married. What then is your identity? So that can cause anxiety. Uh, let's, and that's why you'll never retire. Well, yeah, that's my, that's my job, right, that's what I do. Plus, the squirrels would come out to play. My ADHD would go off the charts, because I have to.

Speaker 1: 11:49

One of the things about being neurodivergent is I have to keep doing new. Yeah, otherwise my brain can cause, let's just say, it can get a little bit naughty. Well, if my brain isn't constantly stimulated, it gets up to mischief and the shit FM gets a little bit naughty. Well, if my brain isn't constantly stimulated, it gets up to mischief and the shit fm, oh, gets a little bit loud. So I give it new things to play with because it keeps it entertained. Um, why?

Speaker 2: 12:14

how naughty would you go? What would you do? No, it.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Just it starts, it's, you know, it starts to imagine scenarios and starts to just repeat old patterns. Yeah, you know, and and I know, I know for myself that when I'm entertained by new projects, my brain is really quite well behaved and I'm a very positive human when my brain gets bored, yeah, it can be quite a repetitive brain.

Speaker 2: 12:41

It overthinks do you think like the same, not the same life, but routine. Can that routine make you anxious?

Speaker 1: 12:48

because some people get less anxious with routine I'm not a routine human, okay, which is kind of counterproductive. So a lot some people on the spectrum love their routines. So, um, people especially with umperger's or certain types of spectrum behaviours, they love routine and it gives them great comfort. I'm the opposite. I do not like to do the same thing every day at all. I don't like even the word routine, oh right, because to me it it's trapped. I associate routine with boredom. Trapped, um, some of it for me is a trauma response from my marriage. You know the thing about you have no freedom, you have no saying what happens to you, you have to conform, you have to be in a box. Yeah, so some of that's a trauma response to not being able to have my own life.

Speaker 1: 13:49

So I like the word ritual okay, yeah so I have sleep rituals, nighttime rituals, morning rituals, food ritual. You know, I love the word ritual because to me that then becomes a celebration of self, it becomes a celebration of me, becomes a celebration of my health, it becomes a celebration of my mindset. Yeah, so you always hear me talk about a ritual, not a routine, because routine to me is like dull straight away. But that's as I said. I think that's more a trauma response in myself than anything else. But I love new, I love fascinating. Fascinating. That's why I've always got a hobby on the go yeah I do love a good hobby I love a good hobby

Speaker 2: 14:31

that's an adhd thing though you have some funny hobbies as well knitting and scuba diving.

Speaker 1: 14:38

They're so similar, I know it's like. I mean, they're just like two peas in a pod, right, you've been knitting a while as well.

Speaker 2: 14:45

I've been listening since I was four, you had a knitting club at school yes, which you joined, not by choice well I had to come support.

Speaker 1: 14:58

It was a good club. You had that chinese um. What was he called? Kai see kaisi. He loved knitting. Yeah, because no?

Speaker 2: 15:06

because he loved me okay, oh cute, yeah, I was. He was my first boyfriend when I was seven, six, six or seven yeah, kaisi, he's a cute I'm still friends with him on facebook. Are you really? We never actually broke up, I don't know. Are you still together, apparently? Oh, that's so cute, yeah, yeah knitting but we all need to find our things to make us less anxious yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:33

For sure, you go on mental health walks every day.

Speaker 2: 15:36

They work there yeah, sometimes I need just one one a day, sometimes I need three, four. It just depends on the day and what's happened and and it just it really does soothe me if I've had a bad nightmare, as it just depends on the day and what's happened and and it just it really does soothe me if I've had a bad nightmare as well.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Just going on a walk before work really helps, yeah yeah, yoga for me, is a good one, journaling is a good one, um, and this is the thing people seem to mental health, mental health, well-being, management and techniques is a bit like bathing. It's recommended to do it every day, like you can't bathe once and you're done. Yeah, you know, you get a bit pongy, um, but smelly if you only did it once. You know the question that I get asked is when? When are you done? So? So you know the question, um. So who asked the question? Christina is like when does it go away? Yeah, I mean, we'll talk about techniques at the end. I don't know how much time we're on.

Speaker 1: 16:32

It's gonna be a long one, 16 minutes in. Okay, I'm not really past. Point number three um, the question is when does anxiety go away? The? The answer is does it ever go away, or do you just manage it so that it doesn't overrule you?

Speaker 1: 16:47

And I think that's the thing that we're going to talk about later on is is that anxiety is one of those things that it's built into all of us because it's a survival instinct, it's survival of the fittest. So your body will always default to it in times of high stress because it wants to help you survive, it wants to keep you alive. But it doesn't need to win, it doesn't need to to to be the, it doesn't need to dominate you. I, anxiety doesn't beat me ever and I don't concentrate on anxiety.

Speaker 1: 17:24

When I start to have anxious feelings or anxious thoughts, I deal with them. So worry is in your head, anxious thoughts are in your head. When your body joins in with with worry, it becomes anxiety. So the point is to get your body calm and out of, separated from worry, and then that becomes worry, not anxiety. So when your body joins in and it becomes, you know, it's kind of like when, when it's something called the hpa, you know the, you know, when the, when the body starts communicating with the, with the, the pituitary.

Speaker 1: 18:01

It's a very long story. I don't want to go into too many technical details because I literally will be here for hours. But when the, when the brain starts communicating with the body and there's there's a kind of communication channel between the two, and then it starts releasing insulin, it starts releasing cortisol and stuff that at that point becomes anxiety and it becomes this loop, okay, between the two, and that's the danger zone because the loop feeds into each other. So the point is to get the body relaxed and away from the brain. Yeah, so it's just thoughts, and then you deal with the thoughts. Anyway, right, I'm going to carry on. So other things that can cause anxiety Cognitive changes, so brain fog.

Speaker 2: 18:45

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 18:47

I mean, you hear about it a lot, yeah, and you know I'm working on a secret mission for this which I can't talk to you about yet because Gabby will actually cut me off at the knees. But brain fog can be a massive source of anxiety for women in perimenopause because it is so frustrating and it's not. People say to what is brain fog? Is it just difficult to remembering? Well, no, it's difficulty remembering, but it's difficult. It's searching for words as well, so you don't just forget what you're saying, you forget why you walk into a room. You forget what you're saying, but you also it's like thinking through treacle, so it's really difficult to remember things. But it's also searching for words, searching for people's names, searching for you. You have problems, remember, being able to perform daily tasks and for those of us who rely on our brains like I'm a very academic person, I'm very mentally astute, I rely on my brain to write and to perform it's really anxious. It gives me a lot of anxiety because I feel really frustrated a lot of the time. So that can be cause a lot of anxiety. Um, you can also get sudden fears and phobias. Okay, so some some women I'm not. I don't have any phobias. I'm not fond of anything which sounds like really, oh, look at you, not fond of anything. You're actually not. I'm actually not. No, I'm one of those. Oh, that's happened, right, let's go deal with it. So this is an example.

Speaker 1: 20:16

The other day We've got I don't know why, we've got a plague of wasps in the house at the moment. Oh, in the house at the moment. Oh, I know, what is that? I don't know. There's obviously a wasp nest. And rome was like oh my god, there's so many wasps. And I'm like scott walked into my, you know, came into the bedroom. He's like oh my god, there's 10 wasps in on the window. And I was like, uh, not bothered, like they're on the window, they're not bothering me, you know, and obviously buzzing, not annoying you, though well, they weren't buzzing, they were just chill. I was chilled, they were chill, we're all chilled, okay, like everyone in the in the room was chilled, the 10 wasps were chilled. I was chilled like I'm not bothering them, they're not bothering me.

Speaker 2: 20:54

And scott was like ah, there's wasps, like no, they don't pay rent, they don't need to be there but they melt like out.

Speaker 1: 21:03

Like they were relaxed, do you know what I mean? Like everyone was chilled. So, yeah, I'm not frightened. But anyway, some women can find that unexpected phobias or sudden onset of specific fears, um, again, things like driving in the dark can be a thing, but these changes can be linked to the amygdala, so it's the part of the brain that processes fear and it can just become more sensitive. Yeah, um, due to hormonal shifts.

Speaker 1: 21:30

Um, also, you can suddenly get sensory overload, so you can just get high sensitivity to things like so it's just basically sensory stimuli put my teeth back in sensory stimuli. So it can be things like noise, light, crowds, and that leads to feelings of overwhelm. So situations that were previously manageable, yeah, you suddenly just can't deal with them because your senses are overwhelmed. So you can just start to feel really just come like just you, just too much discomfort, and then that feels like it's going to cause you anxiety. So you might not be able to go shopping in a big mall or you might not be able to go to a concert, or you might not be able to deal with, um, think so. So anything that's too loud, anything that's too hot, anything that's too crowded, anything that's just going to stimulate you too much. You suddenly just want to avoid. Yeah, um.

Speaker 1: 22:35

Another one could be health anxiety Because, let's face it, there's a lot of symptoms in perimenopause and those symptoms can lead to you feeling like you're becoming fragile or you may not. So even things like, for example, the heart palpitations that you can get, which could be insulin resistant, so your body's not able to burn off sugar, but because you can get them semi regularly, you could start imagining and, by the way, I'm not saying that all heart OK, note here I am not saying that all heart palpitations are insulin resistant. Heart palpitations are insulin resistant. If you have a heart condition and you think you might have a heart condition, please go and see your medical practitioner.

Speaker 1: 23:22

But there are some conditions in perimenopause that are quite normal and but they will gaslight you or they will come and go and you can start feeling like you're in serious danger. So health anxiety is quite normal, um, but in general, just the lack of control, because all these symptoms keep popping up and disappearing and you just think what's going on? Like, am I going mad? How many women in their group say anxiety is a big one? Yeah, but am I going mad? Like I thought I was going mad.

Speaker 2: 24:01

I thought I was losing the plot someone put one post recently that said define in your own words what brain fog is. So many people put it in so many different ways. It was like some of them were funny to look at how they described it and some were really sad with how they felt with it.

Speaker 1: 24:17

Yeah, and the lack of clarity, the lack of all the uncertainty, the feeling that you're losing the plot, the feeling like you don't know what's going on. How many women have said in our group recently thank God, it's not just me. Thank you so much for providing this group, yeah, yeah I don't feel like I'm alone anymore, especially in the membership.

Speaker 2: 24:42

Once the women actually get into the membership, they like they call each other their families and they feel so comfortable within a week literally, and everyone feels so comfortable speaking to each other and it's a good. You can just go on when you're feeling anxious. People just post things when they're just anxious and just need a chat and just need reassurance and everyone's there. Yeah, it's a nice community shameless plug, by the way.

Speaker 1: 25:05

If you want to join, if you want to join, but if you want to join um the community, it's called the uncomplicated um, uncomplicated perimenopause membership, and if you want any information, like, just send us a message, or I think the link is in the show notes, I guess. So it's. Yeah, it costs about 30 pence a day to join and it's just such a bit. You get so much information and amazing help and support and great resources, um, so, yeah, so that's, that's beautiful, just, but that causes a lot of anxiety.

Speaker 1: 25:37

If you feel alone, if you feel isolated, you feel like you're going just slowly, um, bonkers, um relationship dynamics. So a lot of women fall out with their partners. It can be due to lack of sex, it can be, um, because your libido obviously drops off earth for many women. It can be just because your moods are all over the place, so you cause friction between you and your kids, you and your partner, and your energy levels are just, you know, on your knees and partners can resent it. I'm not saying that's correct, by the way, I'm just saying calling it as it is, oh gosh.

Speaker 1: 26:15

And aging aging, I mean, where do we stop? Aging can cause it, the feeling of aging, um, financial concerns because you're reaching near retirement age and life, yeah, oh gosh, I mean. Um, I can't. I mean, where do I stop? And environmental toxins so if you're cleaning your house with toxic products that can cause heart palpitations, which makes you think like you're getting, you know, anything that causes heart palpitations will make you think you're getting anxious. Anything that cleaning products, or too much sugar, too much caffeine, too much alcohol, anything like that will cause you to have heart palpitations, which will make you think you're getting anxious.

Speaker 1: 27:06

I've probably talked for about 20 minutes, right? So what do we do about anxiety? Yes, in perimenopause. So, first and foremost, again, it is not your personality type, it's not a lifetime sentence. It doesn't have to win, it doesn't have ultimate control over you. It is a habit that your brain gets into. Yeah, even if it's hormonally linked, even if it's in perimenopause, it's still a brain habit. So, again, understand that if it's just in your brain, it's a worry or a thought. Once it gets into your body, once your body joins in with your brain, it becomes anxiety. So the first thing that you need to do is to try and relax your brain, your body. Always.

Speaker 1: 27:50

It sounds very, very simple to say breathe, but breathing is massively important because what we need to do is put the sprinklers onto your body. We need to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. We need to get your body to relax. So I'll put into the show notes there's a technique that I invented called Cocoa Breaths, which is the best way to get your body to relax, using a breathing technique that I invented. I'll put it into the show notes. But breathing is very, very important. Um mind body practices in general. So techniques like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, any of those things that are designed to help the brain and the body just relax and promote sense of calm very, very important.

Speaker 1: 28:37

Um cognitive behavioral therapy do you know the workbook that I wrote um the uncomplicated perimenopause workbook? Um, again, there's a link to the lifestyle brand in the show notes if anyone wants to have a look at it. A lot of the techniques in there are based on cbt, and cbt can be particularly helpful in addressing certain fears, phobias, thought patterns, behavior patterns. That's what the book is based on. Yeah, because in perimenopause that is a very, very helpful technique. I would say again not just because we're plugging the membership, it's not about that.

Speaker 1: 29:21

Social support. Social support can help alleviate a lot of anxiety. When you're anxious, it's not the best idea to be on your own. Anxiety spreads in isolation. It grows. It's a bit like a fungus. It doesn't want the dark and the damp. Get it out into the light. When you wrap words around anxiety, when you bring it out into the sunshine, it feels a lot less. When you keep it inside and you keep it in the dark, it's like a gremlin. You know it. It grows. So you need to wrap words around it, you need to speak about it, you need to bring it out into the light, you need to speak your truth and then it feels.

Speaker 1: 30:08

It feels more manageable yeah yeah, if you keep it to yourself and and hide away, it will always get worse. So, speaking about it and owning the you know, talking about it and owning your truth around it will help. So having a support network, having friends, having other women on the same journey, is super important Because, especially when other women get, oh, me too, that's all. Sometimes you need to hear, yeah, you know, and that's what's so magical about having something. You know, any type of perimenopause friends. You know, just having a group of women that'll go, oh gosh, me too.

Speaker 1: 30:49

I remember, um, the first time I ever ran a perimenopause workshop, talking about urinary incontinence, like peeing yourself, basically, and I always speak very openly and very honestly.

Speaker 1: 31:06

And you know I was talking about not getting to the loo in time, because it's a problem in perimenopause, you know. And I was talking about pelvic floor, um, strengthening exercises, and I was talking about how you can do kegel exercises and strengthen your, your pelvic floor muscles and stuff and the the need sometimes for because I um like period knickers and how they can help, and and one of the women just almost broke down and was like so emotional about this because she was saying I thought it was only me and the reality. Reality is about one in three women suffer in perimenopause with urinary incontinence quite badly and, and most women have a little bit of a little bit of a trouble now and again, but, um, one in three is it's. It's a life-changing problem, yeah, yeah. So it was like you just need someone to say yeah, me too, that's me. Yeah, lifestyle adjustments, realising that sensory overload is not great. So, even if it's noise-cancelling earphones.

Speaker 1: 32:16

If you're on the subway or you're on a train or you need to go somewhere where there's so much noise, yeah, so you can get those. Have you seen those ones that? Um, just fit inside your ear not airpods no, not airpods.

Speaker 1: 32:28

Then um, oh god, now I've got perimenopause brain fog. The ones that are just designed to can't that? I don't know what, I can't remember what they're called, but they just fit into your ear and you can use them at work to block out noise, or you can use them if you're going to a shopping mall or something and they just pop in somebody, or somebody can tell us what they're called. But they just pop into your ear and they're designed to just help manage anxiety and help manage the your over stimulation from things. And, for example, at the moment I can't there's certain smells I can't deal with. And communicating that to people that you live with, yeah, yeah, and just saying, hey, listen, like there's certain smells, like I can't bear the smell of fish at the moment. So if anybody's eating fish, I just ask them to eat it in the kitchen.

Speaker 1: 33:19

Yeah fair, because I can't, I cannot deal so certain smells, I can't deal with certain noises and like, if I'm coming into a room, I just kind of warn people. Could you turn the record player down, or can you? And you get over it, and I think you have to be a little bit brave and a little bit vulnerable. Yeah, so vulnerability and courage are two sides of the same coin okay you can't be vulnerable without being courageous.

Speaker 1: 33:50

You have to. You have to be willing to say I'm struggling with this right now. Can you please do this for me?

Speaker 1: 33:58

yeah and be willing to put yourself out there. I get that um, so you know like this is not anyway, this is not helping me. Can you please do this for me and say that um, and keep having regular health checkups, okay? So when you have an issue, a health issue, or you feel like there's a health issue, so instead of having health anxiety, if you feel like you're having, for example, dental issues, go and have a dental checkup. If you feel like you might be insulin resistant, go and have a dental checkup if you feel like you might. If you feel like you might be insulin resistant, go and have a diabetes check. If you feel like your heart rate is irregular, go and have your blood pressure measured. Like, don't sit on these things and hope that it gets better yeah like actually do something about it.

Speaker 1: 34:50

Yeah, um, if you, and I just think that if you, if you take these things, there's so many things that you can do, like journaling, and I mean, how long what I don't want to go over 35 minutes. This is such a big topic, though it's so, so, so important. Thank you so much for the question as well. If anybody wants to just work on anxiety and wants our help, there is a. There is a mini program that I have that you can self-study, so I'll put the link in the in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 35:26

Um, if anybody wants to reach out and just it is a good one the mini program because um, you, you can get a half hour one-to-one call with me in, included in the program as well, which they can talk to me about anything that they're concerned about with perimenopause and with anxiety as well. So that's included in the program. Yeah, so I'll put the link to that in there as well. Um, which is a great way if they want to talk through perimenopause related issues, issues, anxiety-related issues. So I'll put that in there. I just wish I had like another hour to discuss all the different permutations of anxiety and perimenopause. But I hope that helps.

Speaker 1: 36:07

I think you did well. Sorry, this is such a massive topic. Yeah, yeah, without making the podcast podcast like two hours every week. Um, it is a tricky one to get through in that time. All right, my darlings. Well, I hope that helps and, as always, thank you so much for listening. Do keep the questions coming in. You can ask us questions on whatsapp. You can ask us questions in the group. If you want to join any of our groups or the membership membership, membership, membership, membership do please reach out, and I think I'm pretty sure all the links are in below.

Speaker 2: 36:44

If you need anything, I can send it.

Speaker 1: 36:45

Yeah, yeah, you can just reach out to us. All right, my darlings, take care and we'll speak to you soon. Bye, thank you.